Ian 的个人资料Lord Mix'M'Bad's Loft of...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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11月18日 Mixy's Midnight RunnersHi There Friends, How are you?
No shit?!?! Well I can sympathize.
So what is new with me you ask? Well lets just say life has been a little bit of a rollercoaster ride as of lately.
Let's start with a down note. I have finally been diagnosed with a skin disease called "Lichen Planus," not nearly as exciting as "Lycan Planes," as I was hoping the moderate leprresy would lead to me eventually being the werewolf version of the Red Baron. Instead I have a rare condition which will stay with me throughout life and no one knows what seems to be the cause of it. It gives me symptoms of having purplish colored welts...leisions...(er..i'm not sure what they are, but they are not pus'ee er gross like one might imagine, just like skin thickening and discoloration) which are stupendously itchy, with pain when pressure is applied to them. So this has made doing things with my hands or walking for any real distance painful and irritating. Not to mention that when the sun goes down, my skin itched so bad I thought It would crawl away (No corralation with lunar cycles as far as I know :) In fact I made a statement to my friend Brennan while visiting him at work to the effect of me being ready to go to town with a potato pealer. This made him dry heave as he disgustedly fled to another area of the electronics store. Ha hahahahah.....ahhhhh. I would have been fine with bearing bloody stumps at that point of time. So after a barrage of doctors visits and a specialist I am now recieving treatments, realitively cost effective and with positive results. I am almost starting to feel less a leper and more like i'm made out of people parts again. My hands have already almost completely cleared up, just a few spots of minor discoloration. I am relieved much. However, as I am truly so blessed the tests I had taken also revealed abnormal liver functions, some of the readings showing results twice as high as they should be. Strange for a guy who very rarely drinks or takes pain medications. The doctor has no real clue what is going on or why it is happening. It is unlikely for the medication i'm taking to treat the LP (Yes, my ill afflicting Linkin Park, Ha!) Also he is not sure if it is related to my condition. Either way two blood tests for pretty much everything ever, same high scores in the liver panel now has me going to see another specialist. So I get told to lay off the booze and pills and wait and find out the hard way. So tell Ian not to drink, so now he really fuckin wants a drink. Bah!!!
Another little plus is the apparent little side effect of this wonderful medication, what was it now....oh yeah, really fucking horrendous nightmares. Pretty much every night, I have my loved ones maimed or dead in varying horrifying ways. I had this every night for the first two weeks of taking my meds. However it has now lessened to just mind numbing drama most nights, with the death stuff interrupting every couple of days.....yeah, shattered relationships, unsexual prowesses, or like last night where I was getting hunted by the mob. Oy veh! There has been not so much sleeping, a lot of nights in the silence with my music, books, writings and projects. Move aside Dexy, I'm taking over the Midnight Runners now. In fact thanks to all those friends who spend time cruisin around with me in the wee hours sippin on Timmy's, rockin to my badd-ass tunes and keepin me away from that fuckin Sand'reaper.
But hey Life has been pretty fantastic otherwise. Starting to hear a little bit off feedback from the job searching so I can get off of this damnable pogey. I'm tired of being this damn broke. Not only that but my last 3 weekends have been pretty awesome too!:
1: C4 Comicon in Winnipeg. My brother and one of his buddies cruised out to the ManiTooba to catch all the great fun. No crazy dressing up but got to meet really neat people and see some pretty cool shit, Nerd'D it up to hardcore proportions.....Awesome. I plan to make a post on all the Comicon happenings, just not today... i'm getting tuckered out here. Pictures will be available soon.
2. I got to go to a Punk-Rok show, my first show since seeing Uncle hammer back in summer. Also the first time i've been back to the Exchange since my ex-bandmates rocked the shittiest show ever a few years back, oh the memories. I got notice an hour before that due to a friend ticket bailout, I was going to go see "The Mad Caddies" with Kat and Adam. So the opening band was a local krew called "Cricket." They reminded me of a noob version of Boysetsfire, who being one of my favorite melodic hardcore bands, says a lot. If they stick in there. Second up was "The Johnstones," who I didn't realize would be there but I was already familliar with. Noting their parody of the Lonely Island, called (I'm On a Couch), check it on YouTube. Also I knew the Bank Song. Well after seeing them live, I can say they had one of the most awkward and wonderful stage shows ever. The Trombone/Keyboardist looked like a perverted dwarfish little punk rocker who kept spitting on the other members of the bands. At one point they all adorned kitchen table cloths and wore them about as capes. They did a lot of mid tune instrument changes with other members of the band which is both technically and visually fantastic. I bought their CD, and were the treat of the night. The Mad Caddies had a very enthralling show, being the most musically synched and coherent among the bands. They were musically powerful, their stageshow not being as fantastic as the Johnstones but they seemed to just have a really awesome flow and charizma. Angie got her first punk rock show, yay!
3. Well it was my birthday two days ago. A little low key, but it was friends and good conversation at the appartment. Not to mention that after we ate the best pizza in Regina from Julianna's Pizza, I got the most awesome cake I think i have ever recieved. Never has anyone put the time into making me something that Angela did last weekend. My cake had fucking, Deadpool on it! Fucking DEADPOOL....Awesome! Not only that he was about to carve pieces out of a dirty, snivelling clown.... fricken clown deserved it. Then Tyler recomended the cake be cut with a sword, me having one laying around did just that. I also decapitated the dirty clown and sucked out his icing and food coloring brains. Pretty damn cool. Pictures are above if you cycle to the end.
The last thing I can say with overly much relief. I have FINALLY completed the Lord Mix'M'Bad's: The Ultimate Revenge Compilation 09!!! It has taken me forever to do, but it is done. An Mp3 CD with 2 folders of wonderful revenge, 1 of revenge spill over so bad I don't want to listen to it, 1 of really terrible cover songs and 2 of mashups, 1 really bad and one relatively good. Adam is on his way over right now, unsuspectingly about to recieve ultimate payback. I hope we're still friends after. So thankyou for the suggestions submitted by my faithful henches. Thanks to Whitey, Joel, Jason, Jeff and the other..... I really appreciate!
Okay i'm Knuckle Drag'N, I gotta sign off, stay tuned for the comicon goods shortly. Peace out,
-Mix
Listening To: "Lament For The Toy Factory" by Dr. Steel
9月28日 Too Many Pu$$ies With a Tin EarThe Music Industry......
I have spent a month an a half sorting my music library for the purposes of backing it all up. During this process with the help of Youtube and Wikipedia I researched most of the bands I was protecting, to make sure my information was right and to see if these bands came out with new material I was not aware of. This research was startling, many of these wonderful bands in fact disbanded, left for new projects and fell beneath the crush of undeserved failure. I also came across a few new bands and in this research I came to a horrendous discovery, there are way too many pussies with a Tin Ear! Don't get me wrong, I am okay with the fact that I have many disagreements with other metalheadz on what is to be considered good music, so why argue to point (Blah Blah, I hate Mnemic's new singer, he ruined them!! Blah Blah). My range is huge.... punk, indie, Prog Rok, Synthpop, Industrial, Fantasy Metal, Steam Punk.... but there are just a few things so bad that I can't even laugh, it just hurts me so much that it exists that..... well I don't know how I can go on. So I share with you my "WINNER" for biggest piece of crap ever distributed and liked by people while pretending to have shreds of integrity. The song is called "Freakxxx" by Brokencyde (Yes Broke Inside, I get it...... I also feel that way, Because of You Gaytards, thanks), listed under the Genre title of Crunkcore! Here it is for your viewing pleasure:
Okay, now who thinks we were a bit too harsh when we decided Painful Euthanasia was morally wrong? My god, this piece of crap would make even the most flaming emo kid SHART his pants. Okay, we got Baby-Gap Pimps rapping it out with some douche in a pig costume, regurgitating some form of hardcore pussy vomit while the ProstiTots get paid way too little to dance for these pink hoodie wearing failed abortions. Notice how the Douche Baggets take turns choking the one poor little ProstiTot, they don't know any better sweety, that is how Daddy showed them love. I also like how there is just the one random dude dancing like he accidentally came across some flaming douche party and decided to start crunkin it up so he didn't get noticed enough to be injected with date-rape drugs to play out some demented victim in the form of a Suburban "Deliverence." That is how the guy in the Pig Costume got auditioned. I believe this video to have the same musical credibility as this:
Well I believe I spent far too much time on these Bag-tagging Thuglets. Apparently there is this well of hate that I have not been nurturing for a while. I better kick this in the nugget before it goes too far, and I am seen as one of those supremist types, as depicted here:
Well with all these musical down-notes I had to look to something to bring me back up..... but what... YES, YESSSSS!!!! Rammstein is making new music again, they have a new video...... Lord be praised! You guys made me love dirty and dark, so lets see this bad boy! What? A disclaimer? Oh.... I get it, you guys are a little artsy and edgey....I can appreciate that. What the song is called German Pussy? Oh....well..... yeah, just see for yourself:
oh.... okay I was worried when I heard the lyrics "You have a pussy, I have a dick'a, so what's the problem? Lets do it quick." It was like most of their videos until... well until it became a porn. Ya... we could do music...or we could make german non-shizer porn, a national first. Oh my, I really hope their music doesn't fail. Disheartened once again.... oy.
So quickly to my life. I am looking to get off this EI and be productive again. Damn it is not easy. I spent all that time up north dreaming of my friends and loved ones, mournfully looking at pictures of the fun we once had. But since i've been back I now realize that people got used to me not being around. Due to lifestyles, I have not been spending the quality time I once envisioned. So now I almost mourn being the big bad boss up north again. It was good to feel apart of something, given respect and even admirations. Things are tough right now too with the health. My skin condition is out of control, covering my hands, feet and legs. Painful and itchy is my life right now. My current doctor seems to have given up after assaulting me with at least 4 uneffective $70 creams. I ahave gone for a biopsy and now must wait till the middle of next month to see a specialist. There are a lot of really scary possibilities of what this affliction might be and now I stir in them waiting for answers. I am not really in the best of spirits but damn all if i'm not trying. Auto-Immune, Brain Swelling, Lupus, among a few. Well I guess I will just have to spend some more motorcycle therapy time this week and see if I can't turn that frown upside down. I love you peeps, thanks for investing your time in me. Laterz!
Listening To: "Apocalypse Meow" by You Say Party! We Say Die!
Reading: "Jericho Moon" by Matthew Woodring Stover
-Ian / L'M'B 9月15日 It's Pretty Bad When Corky Thinks You're Gaytarded!
Quote
8月19日 Pick Me Up... Buttercup, not With yer ButtWhat a Bummer, i'm a little down today for some reason.
I am not sure why.... I just had a pretty good week staying with dad in the Dorf, hangin with local bitches n bros.
So I must cheer myself up....
maybe watching dudes in leotards doing some homoerotic shenanigans to technology will help:
that was pretty good, but we need to step it up a little bit. I wan't Ice Cream to stuff the depression, some thick beats to bring funk into the soul and some mad hot librarians making sexy time with the Bad. Internet, make it happen!
they won't let me embed the video.....bastards. Oh Well be old fashioned then. Click the link to wax yer dink. This Milkshake will bring the boys... to the Dentists Office?
later,
-L'M'B
Listening to Easy Love of course.
Reading Walking Dead Graphic Novel #10
8月9日 Catch-Up Living, Ketchup VacationHi'yall,
I posting from my Solitude of Fortress....not to be mix'D up with Super's pad. I am just mulling a few things over, bear with me here.
I can drink 128.65 cups of Tim Hortons before I die.
I can drink 160.81 cans of Monsters before I die.
I can drink 677.11 cans of Pepsi-Cola before I die.
consequently,
I can drink 5146.05 glasses of chocolate milk, then I croak.....
oh &,
I can eat 6432.56 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and I am undone.
Check out your chances at:
So I have been pretty event minded lately. I've been doing my best to catch up on doing things. Well it has been 2 years of not really being out there and having mucho funanas! I've been to 5 campfire Gatherings this summer already. I got to go see the Lego Exhibit at the Science Center, added a few pictures to my highlight reel on the page. Lego is neat, recognize!!!! Also there has been mucho Motorcycle badassery on the go, I even had little Jason Pisswarm come down and cruise with me in our new bikegang, "The Scorpion Deathstingers!!!," pretty cutting edge I know. Actually we never consulted on the name but there is just two of us and I have just assumed leadership....Recognize!
Also, I got down with Hammertime. Now my very first cassette tape was MC Hammer, truth. Followed by Simpsons Sing the Blues or some crap. Anyways, that man raised me with his gentle hearted jams. In fact I feel confident that we are close enough now that I can call him Uncle Hammer. Well Uncle Hammer had a show at our ex, here in the Queen City. What I noticed about this experience was that while the crowd was waiting for Uncle H to begin, it was less like people waiting for a show and more like a Clan Rally lynching. A lot of people were muttering things like, "If he starts preaching i'm gonna lose it," & " I can't believe we couldn't find something better to do than MC Hammer." Lets just say I was distressed about this. I was afraid my yokel bretheren would turn away from the goodness that is Uncle Hammer and go so far to make this another Matt Good "Shoe Incident" Mind you he is the Hammer and would probably catch that shit on his feet, just before another oh-wee-oh-wee-oh. So he gets on and people are pretty quiet, little kids are shaking there things. The Hammer is wise to this and starts telling a few stories, does a tribute to MJ, does a shout out to the 2-Pac, and by the end everybody thinks he is just 2 Legit to Quit, he Turn'D that Mutha Out! You can tell he has been in his biz for a while and he knew how to win over a crowd that wasn't his, job well done. Even better he got a few of his kids out there dancin it up or singing with him, well played. We love you Booby and Jeramiah! His 2 Pac story was a little funny, it goes as Hammer was not feeling a few home boys, so he was spinning some record in the studio calling down some bitches when 2-Pac came in and told the Hammer to stop. 2-Pac said Hammer, don't be calling out those home boys, that is Pac's job, Hammer you are there to make everybody feel good. That is when Pac told the Hammer that some of his songs got him through prison. Sweet, NO? Uncle Hammer told it better, but don't take my word for it, take Levar Burtons.... he spins the Hammer tracks as he prepares to LaFORGE alien bitches from east to west quadrant.
So I use the term Ketchup Vacation. Ketchup is pretty run of the mill, but is still just so damn good and necessary sometimes; that is kind of how my vacation went. My vacation existed in Alberta, yeah that damn place I go through to get to work. No European, Asian, Tropical or U.S tours like many of my home-slices are or have been on recently. Alberta..... yawn. In spite of this it ended up being a pretty swanky odd type time. We stayed out in Olds with Shannon and her family (Family Friends), Which I really liked because she stays in a nice country house just off the number 2 highway a ways. There are horses in the back yard. It was awesome. So phase one was multiple trips between Calgary and Red Deer to get the seeing family bit over with. Then me and Angie split up from Dad and my bro, to go on to spend a day in Banff. We had like ATV Tour or horsey riding plans...then came implement weather so we wandered around instead for shopping, sight seeing and some numy-nums. It was nice. We also took very scenic mountain roads to and from making a few neat stops at Deadman Flats (????Not flat and my gas attendant was so not a Zombie?!?) and to Ghost Lake (No handjob from Casper, but bloody children handprints on rocks...er is it paint?!?!) and the Ghost Station (Where I imagine Ghost Rider gets his gas, Pringles and Redbulls to fuel that Pennance Stare). There are pictures.....
Then things get weird, we are told to go see the Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington. So we said why not. We arrive at Torrington the day we are leaving, it is an itty bitty town that has a 25ft Cartoon Stylized Gopher Statue at the junction of their Main Street and the Highway, so we didn't miss the turn-off. We get to thie museum where we are greeted by a nice little English lady. She charges us $2 to enter this museum. I get worried. We go through the frontroom of this retro-fitted house and go through to the back where we find 70 display cases full of stuffed gophers all dressed in little people clothes, potraying little scenes from around the town, like the town bar or church or bank, where these stuffed animals are dressed appropriately, sometimes with witty comic book captions portraying town banter. Well lets just say panic welled within me as I expected some sort of mentally challenged murderer to capture us in the Gopher Mausoleum and use our human'ee parts to stuff gophers with. I over reacted, I understand this. Even weirder was that it was the first thing in the morning and we were not the first ones there, oh how the people loved the cute stuffed little buggers, the laughter of children still haunting me to this day. So I was forced to ask the little chatty ol English Lady what was the deal. She told me Torrington wanted to bring in some tourism. They apparently already had all their fire hydrants painted as gophers, and they already had the cartoon gopher character whose name escapes me at this time. So the next step, genocide taxodermy...ha! That is whe we also found out there was a Zoo 20 km farther up the road, WHAT?!?!? Ferkin rights! So we each buy a $2 torrington pen and double up our spendings and hit the road.
So we take a turn off the highway onto a gravel road in rural Alberta where we come upon a very large farm, here we find what is called the GuZoo. Upon arrival we find that there are dogs, cats and horsies all over the place. We go into the office to find out that we will be spending $10 for this tour. We also learn that this is a privately owned zoo but not in the creepy way it sounds like those Torrington people. It is an animal rescue and shelter, taking all sorts of species being looked after by what is mainly volunteers. You know like somebody's exotic pet stop being cute, or a crate of Pandas breaks open on the highway so they give the parts to the GuZoo (Just kidding I think). We go through the petting zoo where I make quick friends with a shy mule I call Eeyore, try to be friends with the Llamas who i always thought were cool but turns out they are just jerks. I tried to pet the one but he just kept twitching his neck violently and looking at me with those rape-prey eyes. Then the lady says he must like me because most people don't get that close to him.....I wondered why he was in the petting zoo. We went elsewhere. The lady volunteer at the place followed us where she let Angela play with a baby Raccoon named Smootchy, it tried to eat her neclaces, bit into my $22 watch and scratched, i was pissed. Apparently Raccoons purr, weird huh? I got to play with a Wolf Cub who i was able to convince to go beat up one of the cats, unfortunately he was the pussy because the stupid ol cat made hissy noises and scared him away, it was easier for him to go eat those T-Bone steaks they were feeding him. I don't get treated that well. He was a lot like a puppy but you could tell by his fur that he was a wild animal, hard to explain. So I will not get into crazy detail here but there was a jerk face foamy mouthed Camel who was prejudice against me, lots of livestocky things, buffalo, Reindeer, Yaks, Goats, a spastic Ostrich who I caught using his head and neck to scratch his back while his eyes were rolling up into it's head. There were dingos, Tigers, Lions, Bears, Monkeys, leemurs, Red Assed Baboons, Silver Fox (Not to be confused with Star Fox's Fox McCloud, Slippy Toad, Peppy Hare & Falco Lombardi who were also totally there) Timber Wolves, Coyotes (Not exactly zoo material) as well as a lot of neat lizards, birds and fuzzy things. This was the best Zoo experience I ever had, Calgary, Toronto, etc, the best is some rural farm in Alberta, ferkin weird hey? Apparently a lot of these species are able to thrive in our climate..... i didn't know that either? Quite a few Hudderites, Mennenites er whatever were out at the zoo that day, there was a little pug-nosed dog very upset with them and chased them prejudicely.....animals can be so cute when their hearts are full of hate. Once again I posted a few pictures on my livespace but if you want the whole bunch check out my Facebook.
So I am getting tired of typing old and should go do something, so I am going to ignore all those typing mistakes and spelling errors and go play somewhere. Find more shenanigans to get into, so will you come play with me....yar you will!
Listening to: "Trouble" by Skindred Reading: "Fables Graphic Novel Series - #9 Sons of Empire"
-L'M'B 7月7日 Fee Fie Fo Fudge MooseknuckleAh crud,
my time off is going less well than expected.
I have managed to get addicted to television, screw you Dr. House.
I have become poor waiting for the guvEARNment to give over the sweet pogey, as they force me to use my vacation pay to survive.
My bad for poor planning I guess.
What I really wanted was an honest to god vacation.
Mind you I will be going with family and girl to go to see Oma and Tante but that is Calgary and not a vacation, as calgary is just a sometimes stop between here and work.
On the plus side I spent a very good week with dad helping him do yardwork and stuff, it was real nice, pulled me back into the highschool days section of memory. Too bad so many things have to change...... yay that things change, does that statement make me complicated?
I think I need some positive change, I already know I have some pretty serious things to mull over.....godammit I don't want to though.
I got a proffessional massage for the first time in my life from a butcher...er I mean Naturopath. I kind of expected it to be relaxing and wonderful. Instead as I was not pre-warned it was pressure, pain and me in my almost birthday suit on a table with some dude who made me feel his wrath. Ha, i'm okay with pain and it wasn't over the top er nothing, just surprised.......surprised on how many parts of my body have never felt pressure or MANipulation! For 45 minutes after Ifelt like magic, even my brain was a'twitter. After that I was just loose as a goose (Specially one subjected to duck-rape). Followed by two days of noticeable soreness, then back to general content. So overall, after mixed feelings.... it might be worth another try. Anyways, who cares what I think about massage?
Lego exhibit at the Science Centre was cool, i'll post pictures later. Science Center rocks.
I spent time with old work friend Jeanette today who was driving through on her way back to home in Newfoundland. It was pleasant, tried to take her out somewhere to an authentic Reginian restaurant, first choice was Nicky's Cafe.....awesome but closed, okay so to the 60's diner Izzy Magoo's all the way across town, out of buisness.....what?!?! Dammit. End up at.....the Regent, very plain but the food is dependably good. However far from taking someone to 5 star Regina cuisine. She liked it. Toured around, took a few pictures around the legislative buildings, Wascana park and the R.C.M.P Depot. Not too bad a time I guess.
Frick, seems like i'm trying too hard right now to report to the internet that I do stuff, especially when I haven't posted in forever. Well frigg it, frigg you internet, if there is anything else it is a secret, i'm off to bed after two last important thoughts:
1. I want to make a shout out to you Whitey, poor ol fella trapped up in a Korean Hospital with icky insides. I miss you man. I read your stuff and am glad to hear you are on the road to recovery. Dude, this might sound a little gay but right now I wish I could be your mama kangaroo, you my little baby kangaroo tucked all safe and warm in my sticky, sweet mama kangaroo sack/pouch. Yer my boy, Blue! Mama loves you.
2. Much less importantly, I am finally taking on the new and possibly last revenge compilation. Is it possible the world is just running out TERRIBLE, FUNNY BAD and PAINFUL EXPERIENCE music? I have so much that it is gonna take forever to go through it for this disk. However, I call on you people of the internet to help me find the funniest, most terrible music you know or can think of. Please comment here, e-mail me your ideas, youtube videos, whatever..... if it is bad and can be used for pain on others, share it with me. I NEED YOUR HELP TO SPREAD MY VERY SPECIFIC VERSION OF EVILNESS UPON THE WORLD. If not, well you are just being a stupid faced - Paul Walker. Think on that.
Peace, love and bad music for you all
- L'M'B
Listening to: "Definition of a Hero" by Diecast
Reading: "Working For the Devil" by Lilith Saintcrow (See what I read when you are not here to direct me Whitey-San, Gweilo Ryan!!! Haven't read more than 10 pages yet, expectations are low.....i guess i'll let you know)
5月24日 Escape Clause, Now Contemplate Exit StrategyI packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m. And I'm gonna be bored as Ferk by then I miss the peeps so much I miss my life It's lonely out in camp On such a timeless Night And I think it'ss gonna be a long long time Till this let down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm the mutha F@ckin Security Man! Security man burning out his use up here alone Fort Mac ain't the kind of place to raise your kids In fact it's cold as hell And there's no one there to raise them if you did (Because they love the crack!) And all this madness I don't understand It's just my job 12 hours a day, 7 days a week to be lost and confused and ready to rock like a mutha F@ckin Security Man!
Then all of a sudden Security Man no More?!?!?!
Well that is it kiddies, I might be a government artist in as little as 4 days, there is no date to leave given as of yet...or out date even though we were told that shit is to go down June 1st. I really don't need to get into details but more or less our crew has been given the option to live in Frt Mac and suffer demotion to stay or take lay-off. Logical answer is easy, this cowpoke is getting the f@ck out of Dodge. I better get some beauty rest here, but no doubt i'll be getting more time to update soon. Don't worry too much kiddies, I kind of warm to thought of having a very free and available summer. Okay you nutters, look after yo'selves and come back now ye'hear. Dudes, I totally miss you!
Listening to: "World of Promises" by In Flames
Reading: "The Day Watch" by Sergei Lukyanenko
-L'M'B 4月2日 April Fools GoldHey....
Yeah I know it's been a while. C'mon baby you know I meant to call but stuff came up. Well treat a blog reader like dirt and they'll stick to you like mud. Not that the actch has been crazy faced but I have been neglecting quite a few things. Like the photos I just posted, most of them were trapped on my phone when I sent it back to Sony to fix.... so that could be as old as last Nov / Oct.
I am still in the North where the recession forces me to work less days without OT and I do believe I am a fool to be continuing down this course, especially as the political regime at work is rising to a disreputable flourish. Yet I still show up with my game face on and do what is necessary. The terrible thing is that the practable joke is on me for leaving no room to manoeuvre. So I shall fret not and instead be patient, be wise, curb this insatiable amount of sleeping and if it all goes 'South,' then so do I and call this moot. I miss you lady, my family, my friends (some who got to totally go to Cancun.... jealousy) my music, my writing and even parts of myself, however I believe it was said by Anthrax, "You Can Not Kill What Does Not Die!" Unless it is a zombie, then I recommend headshots and chainsaws. However if it is Meatloaf the sparkly vampire then there is no known course of egress. Meatloaf wins Mortal Kombat!
Listening to: "Red Stars" by The Birthday Massacre Reading: "The Judging Eye (The Aspect Emperor Book 1) by R. Scott Bakker Watching: "True Blood Season 1" ..........What a fun series!!!! - L'M'B
P.S - Today I saw a very Jamaican Lady sing Celine Dion and it bothered me more than a little, not only that but she saw me watching her, nodded towards me and started singing louder. I didn't know what to do, so I broke out a little dance move. I really hate myself for that, perhaps I made her happy but I can not condone anyone singing that, especially those from a culture rich in music. Now if it was an Estonian I might understand. By the way Meatloaf covers a Celine Dion song, or the other way around..... that is equally disturbing. I am too tired to look it up right now, just a random thought, night!
2月19日 This is What Happens Every Time I Close My Eyes!
2月13日 DND - Sleeping.....*Yawn*
You have not heard much from me since November, wowzers.
I have been in hiateus.....i've been sleeping.
In fact I have failed to comment on many events: My birthday (Nov 15), Christmas, New Years and I even managed to hide during the international clown day (Feb 1st), i'm free for another year you fuckers, at least until the Shriners drag your dirty cages back to town..... I digress.
Where was I? Well I was sleeping.
Truly and figuratively.
I've merely been surrounded in this Northern locale working to replenish my financial situation after the heavy spending of last year. I've barely touched the internet device at all....in fact i'm embarrassed I have not even replied to my birthday well wishes and such from November. I have 173 e-mails stacked up and I only took one small attempt to knock a few off. I must say Facebook, Wayn, CD Plus, Birthday Alarm and the Omega Order..... I will be coming for your children....then I will send you as many ransom notes/body parts as you send me annoying e-mails.
I have also been doing a lot of pondering, nothing important.....just some inflections and some random thoughts,
like "Why does every week seem like 'Shark Week' on Animal Planet?"
Moreso I didn't have much to say and mainly kept to myself.
So whatelse could I do but completely drown myself in media?
Here are some examples but screw real reviews.... nobody cares....or if they do they can ask me or already know!
Books:
- "Caine Black Knife" by Matthew Stover - T'was really good, not as good as "Blade of Tyshalle" but what can you do?
- "King and Emperor" by Harry Harrison - Also very good, true to the series and a decent end to the story arc, go Shef!
- "Perdido Street Station" by China Mieville - You know it was fucked up, better than "The Scar" and very engrossing, even made me learn new words.... of course the ending had to be screwy but i'll let that go.
- Currently reading "King Rat" by China Mieville which is good so far, testament to Perdido Street Station that i'd pick up another of his books I guess.
Graphic Novels:
- "Conan - The Nemedian Chronicals" by Kurt Busiek & Greg Ruth (Changes throughout series however) #'s 0, 3, 4, 5, 6 + "Conan & the Midnight God" from some other series..... you know what? Get Arnold Swartznegger out of your head and you will find Conan to be a wonderfully visual thing. Yes big monster goes smashy smashy, well even so I had a good time reading these really thick comic books with wonderful visual art based on short stories and novels I read which were likely butchered by Sprague du Camp and Lin Carter...I think that is their names...in fact who cares, i'm too tired/apathetic to google it. These seemed more Howard'ian to me, and tied up a lot of bridges between storylines in a very successful way. Too bad I am missing some issues, but I really enjoyed cranking through them.
- "Northlanders - Book 1: Sven the Returned" by Brian Wood & Davide Gianfelice. I was on a Conan kick and here I found Vikings doing what Vikings do best, Kicking ass and taking names...or loot...or maybe even your women, but still very good.
- "Marvel's Deadpool's Classics": Hey, it was an assembly of my favorite Marvel character in his first appearances. He wasn't at his strongest at the point where it ends so all it did was wet my appetite for more Deadpool graphic novels..... damn too bad I never seem to be able to find them. Why does he get beat down so much?
- "Dark Wraith of Shanara" by Robert Place Napton, Edwin David (Under the ever watchful eyes of Terry Brooks. Well as a young adult I really enjoyed your schtick Mr. Brooks. You even use some of my favorite characters in this adaptation. But it kinda sucked. Part of me took a little bit of pleasure, but mostly this book was more inflicted than enjoyed. Makes me want to take a drink or 12 and want to talk to Allanon.
- "Fantasy Classics....ummm err...I lent it out so I forget who by. It was very mediocre. It was a compilation of graphic novelization of horror classics like Mary Shelly's Frankenstine and Rappincci's Daughter and some weirdo H.P Lovecraft short story about cats eating Zoogs. It was alright, the art really lacked though but I can handle that. Nuff said.
Movies:
- "Repo! The Genetic Opera" - Absolutely wonderful. Post Apocalyptic surgery musical with Anthony Stewart Head (Giles from Buffy) as a headlining actor. Then on the same note you realize Paris Hilton is also in it.... but you still find it to be absolutely smashing!
- "Catch a Fire" - It was all about the damn Boer's in South Africa and Mr. Tim Robbins who is holding the black man down, so Derek Luke decides to join the ANC (Freedom Fighter / Terrorists) after being unnecissarily tortured so he can sing with the others in a colourful way about using bazookas to destroy their enemies during the 80's oppression. Part True Story, orphanages to go around at the end, I was very enthusiastic.
- "Partition" - A dangerous love occurs between a strong but silent Sikh Man and a wilful but proud Muslim girl during the tumultous time when India and Pakistan seperate.....oooh, and I got caught in the middle....look out TRAIN! T'was good.
- "Paul Blart - Mall Cop" - I expected better having once been a Mall "Cop." I give it a 6.5
- "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" - Blarg. Visually as good as the first two but the storyline was summed up in the 2 minutes we saw in th first movie, I literally learned nothing new. Whatever, could be worse.
This does not include the copious amounts of t.v, half watched movies, reading materials I must have forgot about, downloading/purchasing/listening to/researching/organizing new music/albums to feed my obsession and the 4 days straight of playing the highly repetative but most enjoyable video game "Assassin's Creed." By the way what another bastard ending that was.....urk. So now you know why I haven't contacted you or done anything, poor excuse eh? Well I might actually update next time instead of randomly spewing stuff onto the blog. Let's just consider it a little bit of typing exercise. I will get back to those people who have been left by the wayside, be patient.... I am not right in the head. Toodles, i'm off to sleep.
Listening to: "Hello" by Dirty Little Rabbits
-L'M'B 11月11日 It's Not the Living Fu$%ing the Dead You Need to Worry About Prt 2This is Part 2 of my Most Wonderful Music Review, please see previous entry for the first installment, lets continue shall we?
19. Mnemic
Album: “Passenger” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 3 “Meaningless”
Genre: “Industrial Metal”
Overview: This band caught my eye with their album “Mechanical Spin Phenomena.” It had a lot in common with a “Fear Factory” quality sound with a whole lot of jive that was their own direction completely. But this album was not an easy listen and their combined instruments did fuse at points to make what can only be called noise but even still they pulled out a few truly epic tunes. In this new release their line-up changes seem to have shaped them in new ways having some of that old style but fused with more melodic harmonies in the song chorus’. Combined with their almost ‘Meshuggah,’ style rhythms and break-downs it seems to be a winning combination. Still not an easy listen for you glam mainstream ‘metalheadz,’ but if you want something out of the average screamy death thrusts, try on Mnemic’s mechanical skull-fuck, yah?
18. The Birthday Massacre
Album: “Walking With Stangers” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 1 “Kill the Lights”
Genre: “Goth Rock / Synthpop”
Overview: This band caught my attention with their track “Blue” off of their 2004 album “Violet.” It made me think of “Madonna” singing to a synthetic adaptation to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Since then I’ve come to enjoy the band and “Walking With Strangers” is no disappointment. It is fun with some elements of cheesy keyboards to gothic distortion guitars all the while the cutesy chick lead sings in a pop diva voice about awkward goth feelings. Bon apetit.
17. Brian “Head Welch
Album: “Save Me From Myself” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 1 “L.O.V.E”
Genre: “Nu-Metal”
Overview: Hey, unlike the gaytarded System of a Down solo effort, I think ex-Korn guitar player ‘Head’ had a few good ideas. The sound is not Korn yet on a lonely tear filled night you might just hear some of the old influences. Now is this some Bible Thumping good time with ‘turned to the Jesus’ Head? It talks a little about some faith-like topics in a very level headed manner but moves across varying themes making a lot of interesting statements. Screw the lyrics Mix… how’s the music? Well it is more metaly than Korn has been lately and it moves between a Nu-Metal & Alternative metal styling making it entertaining for all you kiddies.
16. All That Remains
Album: “Overcome” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 7 “A Song For The Hopeless”
Genre: ‘Metalcore / Melodic Death Metal”
Overview: Hey, you guys really went mainstream with this one but it does have a lot to like to it. In your last album I found a few songs that were enjoyable but the rest was ‘Not Alone’ amongst the stereotypical guttertrash as is common in the genre. That was punny. More or less you were trying to show me you guys had a double-kick petal and weren’t afraid to use it. A bit more refined, that double kick a little more classy and yeah you want more money with those catchy clean chorus,’ fine and dandy. The album was easy to put on a listen through.
15. Bullet for My Valentine
Album: “Scream Aim Fire” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #6 “Deliver Us From Evil”
Genre: “Metalcore / Chotch Rock”
Overview: You know what; you may not win in originality points. You have some really good guitar work. So there is chanting with the crowd using power words, sure there is a sappy love ballad metal’D-up and most definitely a whole lot of crotch thrusting in the general direction of EVERYBODY, I still likes even though we are pretty high up on the ‘Cheese Factor.’
14. Stuck Mojo
Album: “Southern Born Killers” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 10 “Home”
Genre: “Rap Metal”
Overview: So what if Rap Metal is not cool, these mamma-jammas pretty much are the forefathers of the Genre. They still do it and it still works. “Stuck Mojo” being a highly political themed band is known for their views on racism, religion and human rights (specifically I remember their letter to the Rev Jessie Jackson saying that we need to not concentrate on Black Rights as much as we need to think about Human Rights). So in this album, it’s simple… they fucking hate terrorists. With the new frontman Lord Nelson, you will find he still honours Bonz’s style while Rich “the Duke’ Ward still brings you truly awesome licks from his mighty axe not to mention great backing vocals and harmonies. The band itself being troubled I hope that you guys still keep it up, this album actually being several degrees less on the ‘Cheese Factor’ than previous releases, there are still some tracks that I have no clue what you were trying to accomplish.
13. Caliban
Album: “The Awakening” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 4 “My Time Has Come”
Genre: “Metalcore”
Overview: Another good release from the German Metalcore band. I will say that your 2006 album “The Undying Darkness” is my favourite to date but still I find I can get behind purchasing your albums. I do not believe there to be any significant changes with style or content in your newest album but for the time being I find your recipe for musical conjuration to be close to my heart.
12. Iced Earth
Album: “The Crucible of Man: Something Wicked Pt. 2” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 10 “Crucify the King”
Genre: “Fantasy / Operatic Power Metal”
Overview: Truth be told, this is an album I would normally just walk right by… any reason? No, but for some reason there is just an unexplained prejudice. However taking an online quiz comparing your personality to what “Metal Band” are you, I came up as Iced Earth. So that in mind I found they released a new album and voile, here I am trying to figure out why they’re me?!? So I took the journey they guided me through and I wasn’t left overly wanting. It is powerful, not unusual to the genre and musically tickling to my overall tastes. Better to listen to the album than to pick out individual songs.
11. Loreena McKennitt
Album: “A Midwinters Night’s Dream” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 5 “Good King Wenceslas”
Genre: “Folk Music / Celtic / New Age / Awesome”
Overview: Oh my sweet nightingale, how dear you are to me. Yes, very far from my metal roots this very fine lady in the only one who I take into my bedroom to have sing me into my dreams. I fell in love with her with the album “The Mask and the Mirror” and stay true to her forevermore. So this one seems a little Christmasy, which is usually a con but I still can not escape your power over me but as it is a brand new purchase I will still have to spend my time in Loreena’s web before my mind will paint the full picture. As a Canadian artist she travels in great depths into the soul of Celtic, Arabic, modern and other worldly influences to mix with literary works to back a large portion of her lyrics to create a sound that far surpasses any who would claim to be her competition… stupid Enya.
10. Symphony X
Album: “Paradise Lost” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 10 “Revelation (Divus Pennae Ex Tragoedia)
Genre: “Fantasy / Progressive Power Metal with Classical Roots)
Overview: This is just my favourite fantasy disk released in a long time. The songs are just so well orchestrated, the music weaving wonderfully in a masterful show of skill but still metal enough to slap you in the face like a sack of doorhandles. The use of added instruments mixed with powerful vocals and guitar is enough to charm the pants off of you and memorable enough to cuddle with you afterwards. It is dark and moving and separates itself from the generic slag associated with the genre. Might be good for fans of “Demons & Wizards.”
09. Protest the Hero
Album: “Fortress” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 8 “Wretch”
Genre: “Progressive Metalcore” (Some Label Mathcore)
Overview: This album is fast-paced with a lot of musical input using violent changes in tempo while the singer changes vocals between clean, classical and death (Strangely not annoying like most guys who are in this genre). I believe this album to surpass their previous work with each track being its own creature without the vicious similarity between songs yet having instrumental bridges between a majority of the tracks. I find that my favourite song keeps changing the more I play the album.
08. Disturbed
Album: “Indestructible” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 10 “Criminal”
Genre: “Nu-Metal”
Overview: Hey, this is radio play guys, you should know this shit. Well, it is “Disturbed” what can I say? There is still the “Swoahhh….Ha Ha…..Ha Ha…” like mess. Yet even though there is no breakthrough new sounds the songs are still tight, every song on the disk being readily listenable. So this one still goes around the bases and is great for those days when you need someone to remind you that people are ‘mother-fuckers.’ High Score ‘Likeability’ with this one.
07. Stolen Babies
Album: “There Be Squabbles Ahead” 2006
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 3 “Filistata” / soft: # 9 “Lifeless”
Genre: “Avant-Garde Metal / Dark Cabaret”
Overview: So Mix goes to see the local “Lacuna Coil” show, he sees on his ticket that a band called “Stolen Babies” will be on the bill, oh how he laughs stating “What kind of fucking band name is that?” The show starts and a goth clown girl comes out with her ‘squeeze-box’ in hand and at that moment he falls in love. Her dark melodious voice mixed with a small amount of female metal vocals to what he can only assume is evil circus music which assaults him in ways (and places) that will never be pure again. I loved this disk. I still sleep with it under my pillow at times blowing kisses to my sad sad clown girl, yet still silently afraid that her clown men will drag me away only to drown me in a dumpster of clown cum. Wow, I’m sure this is the first music critique ever to include the terminology ‘Asphyxiation by Clown Cum Dumpster.’ Awesome!
06. Soilwork
Album: “Sworn to a Great Divide” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 2 “Exile”
Genre: “Melodic Death Metal / Gothenburg”
Overview: Known for using synthesized sounds in many of the previous albums this album is highly melodic to previous efforts, using a lot more basic metal instrumental sounds. Overall they are now regarded close to their Gothenburg brother band “In Flames.” The songs are powerful with a lot of highs and lows amongst the flow of aggressive metal lyrics and riffing guitars breaking down the fucking doors to awesome.
05. Trivium
Album: “Shogun” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 2 “Torn Between Scylla and Charybdis”
Genre: “Metalcore”
Overview: Dudes! “Ascendancy” was awesome. Then came “The Crusade,” yeah what the fuck was that? It sounded like an awesome thrashy metalcore band wanted to suck “Metallica’s” dick for a bit. (Even though I remember coming across an online review saying it was possibly the best metal album that year..2006, ha ha fuck off). So do I give up? Well I had $20 bucks to gamble and here we are. I am not only impressed that you found some of your old sound; you managed to make it your own sound. You dropped the Metallica-inspired vocal stylings to use your own voices and brought back some scream to our lives. You don’t need death vocals to make it boys, but your clean wasn’t the cut of your jib in Crusade. This album just pounds it out, the chorus’ being haunting with a classy combination of clean and death vocals. The music behind the scenes is involved, characteristic and themed for the ideas surrounding the album, making a tight action packed piece of entertainment.
04. Dry Kill Logic
Album: “The Darker Side of Nonsense” 2001
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #3 “Pain”
Genre: “Metalcore”
Overview: This is the only album where I am really going back in time for this review. The whole love of “DKL” came around when I came across the song “Rot - # 8” from this album through some random downloading. I fell in love with their sound but in the music stores I was only able to find their newer album “The Dead & Dreaming” (2004) and have been following them ever since. However up until recently my success at finding this album was next to nil, but finally finding it I chose to support the band regardless of the fact I possessed all the downloaded versions of these songs. Overall this disk is a bit more crude, rough and tumble compared to recent releases but it has so much of the raw energy and sound that only these guys can throw at you. This is where the journey started for me to make “DKL” one of my favourite existing bands, nuff said.
03. Into Eternity
Album: “The Incurable Tragedy” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 5 “Diagnosis Terminal”
Genre: “Progressive / Melodic Death Metal”
Overview: First of all, points go out for these guys being ‘Home-Town Boys’ from Regina Saskatchewan. Hard to place in a genre as their music throws things at you hard and fast mixing several elements of metal and acoustic styles. The vocals range between ‘Power Metal’ clean harmonies with a mixture of high ‘Death Metal’ screams and low ‘Black Metal’ growls. The guitars are reminiscent of a more European style of ‘Fantasy / Progressive” metal while the drums are filled with complex blast beats and fills. These guys are an entity live and this being their newest released album follows a concept theme of a loved one to the band going through the hardships of terminal cancer. These guys are really in my winning queue.
02. Demon Hunter
Album: “Storm the Gates of Hell” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 4 “Fading Away”
Genre: “Christian – Metalcore”
Overview: Don’t let the Christian part confuse you, these guys still kick ass and take names. Having a very specific vocal styling having ‘Hard Rock’ clean vocals mixed with a very aggressive metal scream the band distances themselves far from most of their monotonous counterparts. The album has a lot of lighter and more melodic pieces in comparison to their previous efforts; they still find a niche that makes the album a very respectful compilation of aggression, sorrow and values. This one will hit the player enough to warrant re-purchase before getting lost in Mix’s spent’N’Lend pile.
01. In Flames
Album: “Sense of Purpose” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 5 “I’m the Highway” / soft: # 8 “The Chosen Pessimist”
Genre: “Melodic Death Metal / Gothenburg”
Overview: Well Fuck Me!!!! We finally made it. Yeah, yeah, you had to know I am biased, so of course the number one spot would have to be “In Flames.” They had me through their entire discography, they have me now. But this wasn’t a light decision in the end. You have to understand I had to come off of their last album “Come Clarity,” (2006) which is pretty much my favourite album of all time. So in deep anticipation I put this one in, and alas, it is not “Come Clarity.” Rage ensues as I can’t accept having another section of my fragile world destroyed. Three play-throughs and Mix realizes, oh there you are sweetness. You might not be like my first born child, but you are your own child and I love you just as much. My sickness is exposed. So with melodious force, well executed timings and creative edge which has enslaved me into this following, I give you my top spot you Swedish Berry Bastards. No jokes as I say thank you for your music.
End Notes
I. I would like to call shenanigans on the following bands for taking there sweet fucking time on providing me with some new music:
- Nothingface
- Rammstein
- Dry Kill Logic
- Diecast
- Element Eighty
II. I would like to call double shenanigans for the following bands being selfish jerks and breaking up:
- Nodes of Ranvier
- Silent Civilian (The promising recreation of “Spineshank”)
- Apartment 26
III. I would like to give Kudos to the musicians of very dead bands trying to recreate some dead magic and bring it back to life:
- The Dreaming (The new incarnation of my poor missed friend “Stabbing Westward”)
- Black Market Hero (A new mixture from the bands “40 Below Summer” & “Flaw”)
- Polkadot Cadaver (Reinvented + Heavier version of “Dog Fashion Disco”)
Currently Reading: “Queen of the Damned” by Anne Rice
As always, thanks for the good times, bad times and wasted time,
-L’M’B It's Not the Living Fu$%ing the Dead You Need to Worry About Prt 1.It’s Not the Living Fu$%ing the Dead You Have to Worry About
It’s the dead coming back just to f$%k you that is my prime concern. Much like these dead in which I speak of I have resurfaced from the grave just to do what I came here to do in the first place (No not bitch until I ride dangerously close to renaming this blog “Mix’s Unhappy Emo, No Shirts, Pajama Pants Party”) which is to be Lord Mix’M’Bad and give you the Music you not only need as much as deserve. So the Mix is comin at ya from his cold-hole den to fuck with the living, or at least what some of these artists plan to do for a living.
So it came upon me that I would do a massive music review so I can use up time I have on my days off while being stuck in camp. You are lucky that I am obsessed with purchasing CD’s and I might just help others benefit from my sickness. Now it would be highly unfair to label this as a “Metal” review, because I have been listening to various genres other than and within the realms of metal itself. So simply I review the last 40 CD’s I bought in roughly the last 6 months, no more, no less. Please note before we continue that the listed genre’s are by no way official especially considering how many of the fucking things are pointlessly labelled these days (If every band has its own specific genre can we really call them genres anymore?). This will just be my best interpretation thereof. The ‘Mix’s Spotlight Track’ is also not necessarily the best song on the album but merely the one I happen to dig at the moment, groovy? (and more importantly I am also trying to stay away from the obvious popular singles off of the album and instead am trying to show alternative likable songs not endorsed to you by the media). These critiques in a lot of cases are just me being my asshole self and need not be taken so seriously, some might be half-assed (probably because the album was) but most likely you will find them near truth. Lastly, enjoy!
40. Animosity
Album: “Animal” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #5 “Animal”
Genre: Death Metal/Speed Metal
Overview: Well the Guy at CD Plus said that this was the best album ever, “If you LOVE DEATH METAL you NEED this album. He can go choke on a whole fist-full o cocks. This album has serious “Hatebreed” syndrome where all the songs sound the same, the one different one is your favourite…but in this album which one is it? So the spotlight track might as well be any of the songs. Some notable musicship, annoying death vocals and timing is messed like “Norma Jean” but without the catchy name titles like “Vertibraille.”
39. Misery Index
Album:” Traitors” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #11 “Black Sites”
Genre: “Political Death/Speed Metal”
Overview: The dudes throw around some decent guitars, yeah yeah I get it drummer dude, double kick-petal in the very non-classy kind of way…maybe the crack makes your feet shake so and you can’t help yourself. The vocals are classic death and there is nothing too flashy about it. Another song to perhaps note is “Thrown into the Sun,” only because it is reminiscent of “Opeth.”
38. Dragonforce
Album: “Ultra Beatdown” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #7 “Inside the Winter Storm”
Genre: Speed Fantasy/Power Metal
Overview: Hey you guys are fast!! Yep… oh yeah your songs are long! Yep… so maybe you are just that damn hard song on Guitar Hero… truth. But I must say I just had trouble getting through this disk, all them damn fancy power words and inspirational lyrics, it turned out to me much like a Carebear taking a stroke. What was I thinking; go get a “Rhapsody” album. I might try to let it grow on me, but not today sir….not today!
37. Neuraxis
Album: “The Thin Line Between” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #3 “Versus” / #10 “The All and the Nothing”
Genre: Doom/Speed Metal
Overview: Well this was on the recommended wall at CD Plus, the cover had a dark tower and angel like thingies, so how could I go wrong? Well, I found that cover-art does not make the CD. The music is listenable and interesting in a few places but for the most part lacking. Epic Fail? No. But not ear ejaculation either.
36. Brainstorm
Album: “Downburst” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #1 “Falling Spiral Down”
Genre: Fantasy/ Power Metal
Overview: Some lessons are hard learned. The cover looked like that cool guy from the X-Box game “Assassin’s Creed.” Well the CD was listenable, if not somewhat enjoyable but doesn’t take you any place you haven’t been. Might as well get a Maiden CD and go Over the Hills again.
35. Kataklysm
Album: “Prevail” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #2 “Taking the World by Storm”
Genre: “Speed / Death Metal”
Overview: Well I should have known. This is the dude who points on stage at whichever guy in the band is playing his instrument. They probably need his permission. With some catchy riffs and player hater lyrics they will please the Katakysm fan with this one. This album however will not escape Mix’M’Bad’s scrutiny, the only points being won with my love for the ‘Cheese Factor.’
34. Scars on Broadway
Album: “Self-Titled” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #1 “Serious”
Genre: “Nu-Metal”
Overview: Well I bought a CD on a chance basis, HMV is featuring this album and promoting it. I put it in, and I start to dig it. Wait, each song is getting progressively worse. Hey wait! It is the annoying guy from “System of a Down.” Well Fuck! They let him out of his cage and now the world suffers. His good tunes are good because they sound almost like “SOAD” and by the end of the disk I hate myself almost as much as I hate him. In the end we all lose. The other song I kinda like is #5 “Insane.”
33. Firewind
Album: “The Premonition” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: “Maniac (Michael Sembello/ Flashdance Cover)
Genre: “Fantasy / Power Metal”
Overview: Who covers “Flashdance?” HA HA hA hA hahah haha….ahhh. Well this is a par album for it’s genre but has its moments. Listenable and a little fun, my love for “Firewind” (because what is more powerful than fire & wind together?) is a dirty little secret, kind of like a love for masturbating publicly to midget porn.
32. Finntroll
Album: “Visor Om Slutet” 2003
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #2 “Asfagelns Dod”
Genre: “Viking Fantasy / Folk Instrumental”
Overview: If you are in the mood for very fricken weird mixed with kinda fun…. This might be it. It moves between nature sounds to Viking drinking chants to heavy breathing to the sounds of extreme eating…. Classical period instruments and a neat experience so you might as well get out those D20’s kids and your DM might just have a few trolls to slay. P.S bring your Firewind… I mean wand, trolls regenerate.
31. Still Remains
Album: “The Serpent” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #2 “The Wax Walls of an Empty Room”
Genre: “Alternative Metalcore.. touch of ‘Emo” (Sounds like I’m making it up?!?!)
Overview: Ya know I thought it was okay, a few key songs were pretty catchy n kickin. Yet this CD just won’t hit the player very much. Why? Might be my prejudice against the Dutch, of maybe they’re from Winnipeg… or I just have so much better stuff to listen to.
30. Funeral for a Friend
Album: “Memory and Humanity” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #1 “Rules and Games” – Even though it is not one of their singles
Genre: “Welsh Post Hardcore – Emo’ish”
Overview: Well this one is almost a brand new acquisition. Not sure why I decided to take the leap and pick it up. It deserves more study but as having listened through it 1.5 times I can safely assume that it won’t make or break any history with me. But hey, it wasn’t so emo that I left the first run-through with semen on my breath.
29. The Gorgeous
Album: “Great Lakes” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #3 “Jamboree at the Jubilee”
Genre: “Metalcore”
Overview: Hey there hardcore Canada guys, how could we guess with an album name like that? Well I liked your CD; in fact I liked it in its entirety which is weird because I had a tough time picking an individual song. But you broke up, so I think we’re through. Album has some catchy moments and I found the sound almost a little southern sounding style of Metal, I was intrigued. A CD Plus recommendation that didn’t go horribly wrong? What do you know.
28. Type O Negative
Album: “Dead Again” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 7 “She Burned Me Down”
Genre: “Gothic / Doom Metal” – With a sometimes Thrash/Bluesy Feel
Overview: Even though you gave me so many tracks to dig over the years, as normal it took a long time to feel comfortable with letting you guys reach third base with me. Maybe one day yet we’ll go all the way. I do like Mr. Deep Voice, some of your crazy sounds and antics. Listening right through, I can’t help but feel disconnected from where you try and lead me on your musical journey to the pumpkin patch. Where is the eject button?
27. Bobaflex
Album: “Apologize For Nothing” 2005
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 12 “Rescue You”
Genre: “Nu-Metal / Grunge”
Overview: This one is really kind of fun. This band is unconventional with unique vocal stylings, content and lyrics. A good source of entertainment but not really for the whole family. You will either dig it or throw it off to the side of bargain bin. I found this album to have a lot of playful tracks.
26. 40 Below Summer
Album: “The Last Dance” 2006
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #5 “Relapse”
Genre: “Nu-Metal / Rap Metal (at times)”
Overview: A band that has a lot of very listenable previous tracks, this album goes on with that feeling even though there are a few go-nowhere songs. Notably they do have a semi-decent cover of Guns & Roses “It’s So Easy.” (If you look for the Dry Kill Logic cover of the same song you will find it more adequately covered).
25. Slipknot
Album: “All Hope is Gone” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: “Gehenna” – to pick one that is not on your music stations
Genre: “Nu-Metal / Hardcore”
Overview: L Well, there was the self-titled studio album which introduced me to happiness. Iowa came along and I said okay, I still get it but where can we go from here? Then came Vol. 3 (Subliminal Verses) which reinvented metal for me and destroyed playability for old favourites like “Coal Chamber,” who could no longer cut the mustard. That was my favourite album for 2004 & 2005 on par with “Come Clarity” by In Flames for top spot. Then this comes out and the Out’tie becomes an In’nie. What the fuck? Well okay I like a few a select parts with fervour but there is so much BLARG!! For Vol. 3 I remember having an argument with my good friend Tyler about Slipknot and Stonesour ultimately becoming ‘Slipsour.’ I called shenanigans on him because in spite of their use of melodic harmony in Vol. 3, they still remained an entity separate of Stonesour in spite of sharing the same lead singer. You show me “Psychosocial” and what can I argue about, in fact it sounds more and more (please not intentionally) like Stonesour. Okay assholes, I’m still in your corner but give me something we can all be proud of. For now I’ll keep listening to this disk trying to figure out either where you went wrong or how I missed your quaint brilliance laced in the noise.
24. A Day to Remember
Album: “For Those Who Have Heart” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 15 “Since U Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson Cover)”
Genre: “Screamo / Punk”
Overview: Firstly that is just a clever, well done cover. The album is a little crazy moving between moments of pop-punk, emo, screamo, nu-metal and death metal stylings. I just find these guys to be interesting, catchy and fun like a bag of dicks at a dyke party. Nuff Said.
23. Bleed the Sky
Album: “Murder the Dance” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 1 “Knife Fight in a Phone Booth”/ soft # 6 “Occam’s Razor”
Genre: “Metalcore / Groove Metal”
Overview: Another band coming from an album I really liked, called “A Paradigm in Entropy,” well these guys didn’t completely shit the bed like let’s say… entry # 25. My only dish is that they moved away from a more experimental sound to a more tried and true scream and beat the shit out of stuff, which can still be fun. Instrumentally variant without trying to “play shit as fast as we can because that is fuckin cool.”
22. Filter
Album: “Anthems for the Damned” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #2 “What’s Next” / soft # 11 “Only You”
Genre: “Industrial Rock”
Overview: Speak of the Devil, where the hell did you guys come from? Well this album resurrected from the ol supergroup and we have… a not bad disk. No epic failure or ‘has been’ contaminated slag. Instead I am alright with you ‘Filter” as I am alright with your new album. But don’t get me wrong I’m watching you!!
21. Caliban V.S Heaven Shall Burn
Album: “The Split Program, Vol. 2” 2005
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #7 “The Revenge” (Caliban)
Genre: “Metalcore / Deathcore”
Overview: Well isn’t this nice when we can here the jams of the ‘Getalong Gang.’ “Caliban” & “Heaven Shall Burn” are both metal bands from Germany who are close friends and this is the second disk they put out together. Being a fan of both bands I enjoyed this compilation with some pieces from both bands but not my favourite songs from either. I was also really impressed with track #3 “Nyfaedd Von” a completely instrumental piece submitted by “Heaven Shall Burn” for this album, though I’m not sure why.
20. Divinity
Album: “Allegory” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #7 “The Unending”
Genre: “Melodic Death Metal”
Overview: So on the cover this album had a sticker for “Fans of Into Eternity” & “Soilwork.” Ever the savvy shopper I said I better ‘test-drive’ this bitch. So I’m listening to this at the tainted ear-phones in the mall and I say “I need this fucking disk.” Well I purchase and when I throw it into the player on the way back to camp I realize that I’m not feeling it. A brand new purchase, I sit here on the fence and that is why these guys sit at my #20 spot. I like it but does it really take me to the depths that the bands it claims to be “for fans of” have done before them. This is one that will need further investigation as I will not cut them like my wrists at “The Used” concert just yet.
Stay Tuned For Part 2
-L'M'B 10月14日 I Used to Be Into Nostalgia
These days they run, run on and on and melt together to be separated only by moments of being prone. With exception of only a few scant moments there are expectations of me. I showed strength and now I am expected to be strong and constant and sharp and effective. I showed initiative and now I must continue to bring insight. However I don’t know where to look within anymore. It goes on and on and now the climax seems over and it is a long coast to the bottom. I feel as if I have to convince people I am able to do and be what came easily not so long ago. I need my moment of weakness; I find them only when I can truly be sure it’s just me. Yet can I attach these thoughts to sadness, no not really… I know these things are just as they are. Inside I look to how I visualize myself and the mirror seems to tell a different story. I have this person inside who is supposed to be great, to see the world and feel the world and feed the world with a part of itself. Always I look for this to be where I am at. Instead I have tomorrows and soons and I am starting to see that these things are never as sweet when done as when conjured. Looking back I can see the times when I came close and I thought of them often, riding on those dreams, being that person and telling those war stories to live in that fantasy of past glory. I used to be into nostalgia but now I’m growing up. I have never felt movie screen love, never had the moment where I felt drawn to my path and purpose. Doubt, confusion and wandering through mistakes blindly makes for good reality television. Yet that human part wants selfish things, wants to hurt people, to feel good and in the end have things work out. Yet I wake up and put on the emotional armour everyday because I have to be the constant and consistently strong one in a hive of broken puppets.
My trade is people. I don’t create with my hands and see the finished product to give me great pride in accomplishment. I instead deal with human nature, predicting, perceiving and protecting people from life and moreover from themselves. I am amazed at how many times I can allow myself to get disappointed. I suppose that inside somewhere I can still label people close to me as a step ahead of the rest which only allows me to completely miss the signs of pathetic shitassery I would never miss from a stranger. However I must say that I am good at my job. I am an anthropologist of a very bizarre creed. Every day I stand at the gates of their lives just to watch people pass, I see 2000 people go by me twice a day, more or less. Within a guestimated 95% accuracy I can tell whether or not they will say hello to me. The percentage of hits is very low. I spend a good deal of time to the average person in this place as living furniture who is able to communicate the most customary predictive text. Stimulated I am not. However every one of them has a problem. To that person their problem is the worst one that exists in this place. Most of these problems have nothing to do with my function nor am I able to do anything about them if I could. Yet still I care, still I sympathize, still I take the time and still I do not see much appreciation for the assistance I give when so many of the other people who work here simply present selfish apathy. You want to yell at me just because you can’t stand it, yell. You want to tell me stories to convey how special you are, I will agree. You want to talk just because you are lonely, I will listen. You want to complain just because you won’t admit that you are not handling life here very well, please bitch. When you get what you need, continue on and I slide back into non-existence. Every moment of my day I am at everyone’s disposal. I never have a personal moment until the armour comes off and I am so tired and weary that I am unable to accomplish anything for myself. If I do choose to have ‘me’ time it only cuts into the necessary sleep I need to be able to cope with showing up to do it all over again. Some of these faces I see everyday, some disappear and many new ones arrive and the cycle continues. Every now and then I will meet that person who for some reason stands out, maybe not in a way you would find significant but to me somehow shows me something I needed. The human mass is disgusting and writhing and draining and yet I can still be in love with it. Sounds like a painful relationship.
I found myself tonight sitting by myself in a crowded dining hall trying desperately to be alone. I chose to sit in a back corner by a group of residents from India. I was comforted for some reason that I did not understand what they were talking about. I found myself wondering and pretending what they might be talking about. I watched their mannerisms and their rhetoric and I made it more special than perhaps truth may allow. They all ate similar things and dressed in a particular way. This made me wonder if it was possible for them to stand each other if they were back in their homeland. I liked that they thrived in their group because they had each other, their language, their jokes, their common beliefs and maybe for no other reason than finding something familiar in this alien place, nothing existed outside of their little bubble. It made me reminisce the times I spend with my friends back home, those times when we would talk and laugh and sing over the table as far too much coffee was consumed. It made me sad knowing that it would for the most part never be that way again. The players changed and lives moved on and often I get short glimpses of friendships that have been outgrown whether or not that was ever the intention. Awkward silences and weak conversations, nostalgia being the only things you have in common creates a perfect sense of misery. To look upon those people who have become timeless, once again in spite of intentions, is next to bliss and I thank you for being my sanity.
For the moment I am busy in my own mind trying to reinvent myself and find that calling that I know is there but all this fucking brain clutter is a damned mess. I plan to start with those people and things that make me happy, I will love and hopefully grow. I look at myself and for the first time looking in I see that I have started to grow up, impressed and scared, I realize that there is a long way to go for my heart and soul to mature, but that doesn’t mean I can be a funless bag of buttfuckery. For now I shall continue to wait for the Venga Bus* so I can see everybody jumpin.
-L’M’B 9月19日 The Lone Watchman (Revised)The Night can open the sky and the mind,
I the lone watchman, vigilant on his patrols makes his way through the semi-dark passing under the lights of stars and street lamps. The night is cool and licks against the skin to make him glad for the warmth of an active body and active mind. The clouds move above by in sheets, hurrying towards the darkness across the face of the luminous moon. The night itself rings with ferocity as if not to distant artillery fire destroys cities in the imagination, the sound of a gunfire parade sounds assaulting sensibility and peace of mind (or perhaps it's these techno-Doodads which fire over the ponds keeping wary wildlife away from the black poluted pools of water so they do not fall to unfortunate mishap on their travels south for winter) The smell of production is acrid to the senses but a keen reminder to duty. Each step following another to plod on in a course that seems too much like a circle to seem like progression. In an era of circles, complacency and routine seems inevitable if not an enemy within itself. The Lone Watchman can't help but wonder what he is looking for. What will break the night and become the reality of possible outcomes? Is preparedness an ally or do all we ever really have to hope for is the best possible reaction? Another quiet night, the people within sleeping sound and dreaming their own dreams.... the watchman thinks on them as sheep wrapped up on being sheep while only the Shepard need worry of the predator. Sore muscles from repetition and lack of regenerative sleep pay their toll. If only one could go back to the naivety of believing one is indestructible; some days fallibility is closer to home than one can comfortably accept. Foreboding ensues, whether through superstition or intuition, the Lone Watchman looks forward with half grimace, half smirk painting his face, no real tangible emotion within capable of being interpreted through body or voice.
There are feelings. Well no, not feelings as feelings seem to signify a state of being, but rather 'feelers.' Yes these greedy little feelers that shroud the brain like writhing tentacles causing mayhem where & whenever they land. (It's like these greedy feelers are giving me the stink finger). To speak them aloud might invoke their presence and make them all too real. So better they be separated and rooted out one by one. Some things are easier not to realize, as it can be far too comfortable not to accept the possibility of change even when one might yearn for it. Confusing haze of logic only contradicts itself as any cause right or wrong becomes justified as determined by specific need at any given moment. So engaged in this conflict that I choose to go on as the walking dead, continuing on as I did in life. A parody of the former is brought into tangency, strangely superior in many ways in spite of the self doom it is so willing to conjure. Power and will screams as it is ready to pounce, failures swimming in the wake, waiting for the opening should the entity choose to succumb for the sake of ease instead of the practiced perseverance it prides itself on. Something has got to give, but who becomes the victim when everyone suffers? Look to dreams, look to your personal angels, look to God but find the answers in yourself. When you can ask the question, you can find the answer. Be careful what you wish for because truths can be so damn impolite... just fucking inconvenient. So what do these words mean to the Lone Watchman?
Just more pretty words to signify restlessness of the soul.
Listening To: "The Night" by Disturbed (Damn coincidences...) Reading : "Interview With the Vampire" by Anne Rice (Yeah, I dunno) - L'M'B
Afterthoughts: I have been thinking about creating a graphic novel with a set of created heroes and villains I made a while back, might even go to my brother the talented artist and gauge his interest.... wish me luck.
8月13日 You Ever See a Hearst Pull a U-Haul?Hello brave young adventurer, welcome. It is 2 in the morning, do you know where your children are? I find myself wandering in a distant land far from the wonders of home only to feel very tired. In saying so I put a lot of myself into things and not enough back into myself (other than various unhealthy toxins to stave boredom). I near the bottom of the spiral we all travel when leaving our surroundings only to have to accept that one must recharge their "Home Batteries." In hopes of change and perhaps the adventurous spirit (such as the one that might have brought you here), I have ventured out but now I wonder what strength or weakness is it that makes me sit on this distant and thankless throne? This I do not measure in degrees of happiness or unhappiness but rather a thing that I did to give myself a kick-start from where my past was leading. Happiness was not a thing I dabbled in very often even when I was surrounded in familiar roots. Happiness is a state of absolute however and in absolutes there is no reality. I will not tell you that there were not things back home that made me happy, friends and drink and a base in various cherished relationships were a few of these. I will go on to say that there are things here that I also cherish, ethics and protocols and facing sometimes overwhelming obstacles just to relish in survival of these things all the while finding yourself with mostly like-minded peoples of like-minded purpose. Be it a destructive collective or not, one that will never pull itself from it's grave I have found comfort in my accomplishments. So a visit home, contemplation without actions on my mind I will hope to glimpse a new step as I will never allow myself to settle, the bottom always being where I stand I must find a new path leading skyward. When is enough and where to stop is not on my mind as the harmony and power of the almighty plan-maker will just have to find me when I’m accepting calls. It's 2:10 in the morning, I find myself thinking about the dead battery in my cell phone and yet I wonder who is it I would be calling? I wouldn't dare call my loving girlfriend. She is probably with her loving boyfriend; or sleeping in preparation for work as I have been told. Having called close family I have been trying to contact various friends the last few days with little success, but who to call? Why they do not call me can also be vexing to my peace of mind but I find I often need to come to terms with the blame game, throwing it around freely, even when in jest can just be a shit-swab of a thing to do. I imagine myself planning my to-come days home making plans and preparations to be with my close and loved ones, those friends I am always thinking about or meaning to call.....excuses excuses yes yes I am very busy. Still, even though I think about it, it shall not be so, I will take my time and right myself and be with those who would meet me at the gates. I will not have time to pull out the search lights and I know that all of my friends have been doing their own things while I’ve been away. I am disappointed that I will have missed Joel's departure by roughly a week span as the move onwards and upwards had commenced and could not wait for the likes of me. May school and distant lands find you well Joel. Its 2:20 in the morning, I should really be working but I wanna write about something that pisses me off. Members of a Fundamentalist American Church Group has gained access to our country so they can protest the funeral of the man who was horrendously murdered on the Greyhound Bus Incident (A shocking crime that smashed a lot of Canadians back out of dreamy dream land very recently). This group calls themselves the Westboro Baptist Church from Kansas. This protest is to state that the victim of the Incident, Tim McLean happened due to a response from God, so She might smite commuters so to punish all Canadians for enabling Homosexuality, Abortion and Divorce. I really wish all the Homosexuals, Divorcees, Aborted Foetus' and Midgets in fuzzy bear costumes out there would show up at their church and go Old Testament on their asses. So guess what Canadians get pissed off… they plan a counter protest through Facebook n the government says heck no and tries to stop their border crossing. Then the Church’s spokeswoman, Phelps-Roper has the gall to say: "The question to my mind [is] whether or not we ought to get them the heck out of that country, because that's some crazy stuff when you've got your officials talking like they are in a back-alley brawl and not government officials who took an oath to obey the law and so forth." So leave it to the NDP in Winnipeg to be Canadian enough to say: Winnipeg NDP MP Pat Martin said the group should be "sent packing," and should not try to show up in Winnipeg "for their own safety." "We're not going to allow these people to compound the tragedy of the McLean family loss, and Canadians simply won't tolerate these lunatics disrupting what should be a respectful service," he told CBC News on Friday. "Your freedom to swing your arm in the air ends when it touches the end of my nose," he added. "What these people were going to do was hurtful, harmful and disruptive to the peace, order and good government that we guarantee to our citizens, so they have no place in this country." Good on you sir, good on you… I would not be surprised if events turned out somewhat like this: “So Captain, the scene is horrific…all of them simply battered to death!” “All of them you say Constable? Who could have done it man? “Well Sir, I believe the Canadians?” “What!?! The Canadians…. Those pussies wouldn’t even fight in Iraq, what makes you think it was them?” “Umm, lets just say that I found several sets of dirty socks filled with what I believe are called ‘Toonies,’ which were used to bludgeon the victims repeatedly, also we have found much refuse from a place called Tim Hortons.” “That reminds me, we should stop for maple doughnuts before we get back to the station.” Fin. http://www.cbc.ca/canada/manitoba/story/2008/08/08/westboro-protest.html?ref=rss It’s 09:04 in the morning…. The next day…I got busy…I got tired, what can I say? Dear Angela sent me a link that quite amused me the other day; it states that Metal Fans are more prone to mental illness due to a recent study. Well I am sure that I might follow some of those guidelines as anyone who reads this blog regularly might come to understand. However I don’t think it’s the cause but rather a symptom. So it goes on to state: The story is that a study published in this week's Australasian Psychiatry journal claims "teenagers who listen to heavy metal are big on unprotected sex, self-harm and shoplifting." Well… I really don’t get much of the swanky groove on, whether I am wearing my chainmail jerkin and ice-cream helmet anyways. I’m not so much of the sassy teen these days either…. As for self harm… hmmm, I did watch “Failure to Launch” twice, so I can get behind that one. Shoplifting… well, I knew from an early age I would never be a very successful criminal, maybe a hired thug givin sorry sods the muscley arm but just not the slight of hand master that one might hope for. I did steal a Megazord once from the Bay when I was a swarthy little bastage, didn’t even dig them color coded power people (as I said in a blog long ago, I was always went as a real ninja for Halloween, not them mighty, morphy mega losers) but I gave the law a go and came out on top. After failing in heisting the 75€ chews gum shortly after my criminal days were near over. To make matters worse my buddy Jason went back the following week and stole the bigger, cooler Dragonzord outdoing my feat by a long shot. I digress. The other part I liked is when the piece asks if an Evanescence fan would be as depressed as a Hatebreed fan. The answer is no, the Hatebreed fan is upset that he can’t tell when the song changes on the album and is waiting to find the one song on the disk that is different so he can find his new favourite song. I do call this the Hatebreed syndrome. “I Will Be Heard” dammit. Linkage here: Otherwise, I need find haven and rest. I have spent so much time working that I am now rundown… I can barely finish an absurdly blog these days. All this work, health failing, I must remember I can’t take it all with me when the last page rolls by. This brings me to the title of this piece, have you ever seen a hearst pulling a U-Haul? No me… other people will take your things, they will scratch your CD’s, they will even put their shitty bums in your underwear if you let them… so take your vitamins, stay away from the perils of Paul Walker movies, and HORDE, yes people, sit upon your throne in the underground lair and breathe fire upon those who would defile the stash! Because material things will never disappoint you, they shall stand by you when things like emotions and love have failed you… so I expect you to place that wallet under your pillow tonight, dream of your house, car, satin curtains or even that kick-ass green wool sweater you have been eyeing up at the Value Village. King Tut spent all that time lavishing his tomb due to his gold fetish and then went and fell off a chariot or some god-darned thing… well now Tutankhamun, you might be famous only because other people are playing in your afterlife underwear drawer. So now I am gonna go fill my dirty work socks with a roll of twoonies and dream of the future. Night kiddos! Reading: “Warriors of the Way” by Harry Harrison (“The Hammer and the Cross” & “One King’s Way” in amalgamation) as well as “The Walking Dead” Graphic Novel series #4 by David Kirkman… Woo X2 Listening to: “Unholy (fields of the dead)” by Into Eternity *Regina Band* -L’M’B
7月19日 Mix Makes Poop PossibleAlways remember the Mix makes poop possible,
Well to be fair, crack makes poop possible, it takes an @hole to get the job done.
Now we must look into why the Mix's Blog has been an EPIC FAIL as of late. When the Mix got into this buisness he was aiming to bring you tastey delicious music while keeping you on edge with cutting wit and horrendous sarcasm. To bring it up this mutha was out to roll a critical. But somewhere along the way he fell into the emo pit of despair and is crawlin his ass back out. You might have said to the Mix, "Dude, what's up with your blog man?" The Mix'M'bad was is to get you down with some tunes and all he's been doing is getting you down. Well lets roll back the clock peeps and bring you back into the swing. I have some pretty stiff compettion folks, so lets give you a tune and some hot topic. Yeah I know, why not go straight out to the enemy and spend your precious time with Neil Patrick Harris singing his emo-heart out like a hooker swallows a fist full of cocks by the truckload, as shown here:
It's my time now Doogie, so we are gonna see if we can peg this up a notch. Lets get to the point as I am going to make this a good ol fashioned quicky.
I bring your attention to some of the forefathers of the Rap-Metal genre, of course in which I am speaking about "Stuck Mojo." These are fellas bringing up some deadly licks from the far south who are not afraid to tackle some delicate issues involving race, hate, war and political injustices. Not only that but they have gone through several break-ups and hiateus' having difficulty in keeping their sound together. This has led to lineup changes and ultimately the lead singer Bonz was forced by the band to go back to rehab (a large part of the hiateus' was due to this problem) and he was replaced by the rap artist Lord Nelson to help put out their new album along with long time Mojo member Rich "the Duke" Ward (you might also know him from Fozzy). Well these cats released a new album titled "Southern Born Killers," which stirred up a whole mess of critical review due to what people consider anti-Muslim and anti-Jihad'ist views through their music. Doing their best to defend their message they posted on several on-line boards as well as deciding to put their new album on the internet for free, having all free versions of the song introduced by the Duke himself. Lets get to the part where I show you the video. Remember to shut off the musc in the Windows Media Play Window.
Well here is a response from the Duke, submitted for your approval:
(Original Response Post from Rich "The Duke" Ward)
1)The Open Season video is not an animated feature where we are using propaganda to make extreme Islam look bad. 2)The images were not staged for dramatic purposes. 3)We used these images because they tell a story that most of us pass off as something that will work it's way out and then go back to our football games and Playstations. Call me me an alarmist, but this is not about Iraq or the so called "War On Terrorism", this is about a worldwide movement that is compelled by spiritual teachings to convert us or kill us. It's not about Israel or America, if it was then why is this virus present in Algeria, Sudan, Somalia, Indonesia, the former Soviet Union, the Philippines, India, France, Spain and 1.5 million dead in Darfur. But I thought this whole thing was about Israel and America. Then why are Buddhist and Hindu temples set on fire and the followers of these peaceful religions attacked? Right now, a civil war being waged within Islam. Take a look at what is taking place in Lebanon and in Iraq. You investigate it, it's all there for those who don't live with their heads in the sand to see. We can argue about percentages of peaceful Muslims vs. non-peaceful Muslims, but that will get us no further than trying to determine how many Germans actually supported Hitler during the late 1930's. The threat is growing and understanding why Hitler wanted to destroy the Jewish people, did not stop it from happening. So how will understanding the leaders of Iran, who have publically called for the destruction of Isreal and the Jewish people, keep them from following through with what they believe they are compelled to do by God. Why is it a news story for MONTHS when a Catholic Priest molests a child. NO ONE is afraid of offending Catholics by suggesting that the Catholic church was coordinating an effort to protect these morally deviant Priest. But God forbid we discuss the fact that NOT ALL Muslims are terrorists, but that ALMOST ALL terrorists ARE Muslim. Under Sharia law (look it up), women are stoned to death for being in a relationship with a Christian or for leaving the Islamic faith. If a woman is raped, under Sharia law she has to produce have FOUR witnesses to the rape that will testify on her behalf or no charges can be made. Under Sharia law, homosexuals are stoned to death. Say it out LOUD! Under Sharia law, HOMOSEXUALS ARE STONED TO DEATH! Gotta love that religion of tolerance and peace! This video is NOT attacking Islam. This video is NOT lumping all followers of Islam in with the terrorists. No one in the Stuck Mojo organization is a racist or a bigot, but I refuse to ignore these events so as to keep from offending anyone. If you don't like what I have to say, don't buy my album. Respectfully, Rich Ward
There you have it kiddies. I am a man who has many close friends in which are practicing Muslims. In the end Mix is not going to go out on his personal views too much as is his way, but would rather leave this open to your discussion, please let me know what you think. Maybe you hate the Mojo for being religiously biased? Maybe it is right for a nation to stand up for itself when threatened with terrorism? Either way you have a band that paved the way for punk ass kinds like Linkin Park and P.O.D to make a buck or two who has been ripping open the political arena to promote thinking in an industry which believes music by numbers will stir your emotions with power words, like I will do right now to make you orgasm...wait....wait "Fire Love Burn Desire Angel Tears Magic Someday Somewhere Rise Remind Rewind Sex Drugs Blah blah blah......ejaculation complete" Discuss! Listening to: "The Fallout" by the Haunted Mood: More Fun Than a Bag of Dicks at a Dyke Party Reading: "Lord of Light" by Roger Zelazny -L'M'B P.S - In real life I just applied for a management position....I might wind up being "The Man," then all this is moot. Wish me luck.
5月27日 Strip Mining Prevents Forest FiresHello M'Buddees...What ya at? Just Come to where i'm to, and by Jove we'll have a time. Yes Bo'i!
That enough Newfoundland rhetoric for ya? So here we are again, a meeting of minds and moods. You come to visit my place in the world to be the judge and jury for my thoughs and dreams. What have I been up to? No good to be sure but lets continue on shall we and see where it takes us.
I find myself shortly on the journey, homeward bound. I go towards a dental armageddon & perhaps a path of rebirth in many things if not just to remove some mouth pain. A pendulum swings and with it change is inevitable, a new road peeks over the horizon. I leave here with uncertainties, in fact my employment seems up in the air in many ways as I am not promised lodging upon my return. No room, no job I suppose. It shows me how a year of successful and faithful service is cast aside like a Simple Plan record at a death metal concert. I am a number, unnoticed in the foreskin of a lumbering titan. Today I pack up the room in which I have spent 365 days and nights and leave it for the next pawn in our game of robots and space lizards. Enough being dramatic, what picks my brain right now...is as follows:
I had a conversation the other day with just some random guy hanging outside the building in which I work. He is the average albertan in many ways, a conservative and fundamentalist, a worker and a spender, pretty much just an asshole in an almost endearing way. I have friends like this. Well fella go to talking, making pre-requisit comments about the weather. I made my pre-programmed responses as has been brainwashed in me by status quo mediocrity. I suppose I made a joke about Global Warming as the weather up here especially as has around the globe been acting somewhat queer for several years. Well then he kept telling me that Global Warming is poppycock and that we are going through some cycle of sorts. I personally believe that this is not an educated thought process. He continued on to tell me that the damage that is being done to the environment in Northern Alberta is nothing but a small foot print in the sand of the earth. I merely said that, judging by the disgusting broken trees, chemical waste ponds and diseased wildlife around this site that I am definately not here for the scenery. I also pointed out that the paper was talking about 500 ducks that died in a neighbouring site just the other week and that things like this effect an entire ecosystem. Well he said that was nothing and that animals get caught in tese things all the time, in fact there are privately paid wildlife officials working for these oil companies that go out to destroy animals that get caught in site biohazzard traps like this. I said...Well, aint that something! Something very sad is what I was thinking. Yet can I consider myself much better? I benifit from this kind of life even though I don't directly contribute to it. A lot of people do. Still is not a justification, just something to ponder maybe. Now I don't think I will be tying myself to any trees in the forseeable future....but I do stand behind recycling and my own no litter policy. So no hippie by any standards but I feel like I can see impending doom birthing out of this attitude. That is a purgatory in itself. Courage to act though, that is the sufferage of humanity. Easier to go with the flow, spread like the bug, eat like a virus and leave the deadparts behind. I don't think I will remain here once my work place contributes to the carnage, I shall move on. This guy wanted to get me a shirt him and his buddies wear on site, it reads "Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires."
There was an incident over at one of the camps, it involved about 70 peoples outside having drinks and a good ol time. This is a work camp and security was called in to disband the get together due to complaints of noise and other such rule infractions. Well I suppose some annonymous party goer decided to be somewhat creative and wrote us a poem about the affair and as a tribute to some of the residents who were terminated due to verbal abuse and other harrassments against the guards.....I will share with you this poem as he has shared with everyone else here, posting it up annonymously as a shared propaganda:
*Edited for Content*
The Horny Turkey Raid
I'm sure you've heard the story about Tiananmen Square
The stand-off at Waco and the Attica Prison Affair
But there's been another take-down, another monster felled
It happened at the ****** site of *********
It was on the holiday weekend, the 17th of May
A day reserved for merriment, the proud Canadian way
Horny Turkey United, a group excluding none
Decided to get together for a grand soiree of fun
Some were drinking sodas, others sipped a beer
All while just a chillin' in warm Alberta air
A few were tossing horseshoes, others playing ball
But most was just unwinding, not doing much at all
If you listened closely you would clearly understand
That most the people present came from Newfoundland
But Quebec was represented as well as the Maritimes
Some buddies from Ontario and a few of the Western kind
The mood was full and festive, the site morale was high
Someone started singing to the tune of I'se da By
And then before you knew it, like fuelling up a fire
Three guitars and a squeeze box acompanied the choir
It was a good ol' Newfie singsong, a tradition meant to show
That life can still be pleasant despite the frequent lows
a civil group of workers, grandpas, dads and sons
Miles away from family, missing their treasured ones
But somewhere in the tiny minds of the site security team
It was a chance to play the role straight from a movie screen
A chance for the (Security Company Name) greeters who defend the sandwich shelves
To prove to the educated that they are more than Santa's Elves
Straight from out of nowhere, just like in Sherman tanks
They vaulted the roadside drainage ditch and hit the sandy bank
A quarter of a million dollars worth of Ford three quarter tons
Like Smokey and the Bandit except without the guns
It was the most ridiculous thing that most of us have seen
A bunch of wannabe cops in their powerful machines
With flashlights and radios they hit them as they sang
And stopped the joyful chanting of the Horny Turkey Gang
Now to all of you that organized the Horny Turkey Raid
There's a little something we feel that we must say
It's not your mammoth ego that will get you through the years
But how you use discretion in dealing with your peers
To our two friends who were fired, don't ever be ashamed
You were provoked by idiocy in an intimidation game
Let this be a lesson, retain it as a rule
Oft you'll find that power lies in the hands of fools.
Oh yes that was very darling and really captured our hearts and minds as the big bad security guards made u wittle silly bears have a bad, bad day. However, in sticking with the freedom of speech I must say that it was admirable and creative and no one like to see there friends go, life here is not easy...I get that. In fairness though, I would like to present the guards response:
The Turkey Sandwich Ultimatum
I'm sure you've heard the story of the Horny Turkey Raid
a real spun tale of warfare against those who are much higher paid
I'm sure there has been no greater tragedy from Holocaust to Katrina
Than telling grown men how to act, well bo'ye you just shoulda seenya
It was on the holiday weekend, the 17th of may
After a long day of work, the boys went out to play
A battallion of Turkeys, i'll not exclude a'one
decided to have a gathering of ill begotten fun
When have they ever just had a soda, or merely sipped a beer?
Completely plastered drunk is how many would pass their years.
A few were playing rough and a few were being loud,
but its not fair to say that they were a completely rabid crowd.
If you heard it their way and here how they would so simply brand,
all the guards fro B.C to Saskatchewan, Ontario, Quebec & Newfoundland,
all of us with families, and friends and dreams in our lives,
must be barely human to your own ego painted eyes.
The mood must have been festive upon the sandy embankment heap,
not a care for workers who in the very least should get their well deserved sleep.
A caucophany of sqeezebox, guitar and voices of drink inspired chant,
make a very poor lullaby to those who live without your roar and rant.
I suppose our minds are tiny in this site security team,
that we need to feel special like on your movie screens?
It's so terrible that you need to be babysat while you have your pre prepared dinner,
when you go for food in workclothes, covered in dirt, guess you are the winner.
You lock yourselves out, steal things, you fight and drink and smoke,
all the while you're catered to but no you're right that we are the joke.
We let you have some drinks, let you eat and let you sleep,
but somehow this is auschwitz and makes you moan and weep.
Free food, free board, recreations and a wonderful rate of pay,
yet some how asking you to wear socks will ruin your whole god damned day.
You look down on me and yet you call me a prison guard as you taunt
I'll explain the difference with prison is here you can leave whenever the fuck you want.
You don't realize I give you te benifit of the doubt and will greet you with a smile,
that we don't get a turn around, no benifits and get shit on all the while.
You call us wannabe cops, but if only that were the truth you might accept,
we don't have the backup, the equipment but most importantly your respect.
It comes down to the fact that you chose not to follow the rules,
you drank in a public place and even cops in a city park would think you fools.
In spite of what you might think we will be your friends in this hard knock life,
but if you so choose it is you who explain you termination to your child and wife.
So many of us are people who like all the same as you, yet we too live by this law
so many of us have been drawn and quartered by the likes of your Horney Turkey Maw,
To those of you who are shit disturbers we feel that we must say,
that you live by your own consequence as any other society in the modern day.
To our friends who have faltered in upkeeping the likes of such unfriendly, selfish pricks,
you were subjected to an idiot's mentality as you were unable to help this mob of hicks.
Let this be a lesson, retain it as a rule,
Oft you'll find that a worker can be such a tool.
You don't wanna play nice,
Guess i'll have a turkey sandwich.
So I guess Nuff Said on the matter.
Listening to: "The Minor Prophets" by Haste the Day
-L'M'B
5月15日 Mannequin Depressive (Nun-Intentional)Hello Kiddies.
The title is just a funny band-name Amber & I Came up with on a boring night, in brackets is the Album name... copywrite you poopers.
I spent last weekend in Calgary visiting family, as you might see in the attached pictures. Some of the pictures are from last time-home and irrelevent work stuffs....but they did not deserve their own folders.
Last weekend must be the first time in forever since we were all together like that. Poor Oma (Grandma) seemed frightened to death over the experience. There was a lot of catch up, and a lot of fond memories of those who couldn't be there, mom, cousin Craig....may you rest well in the white cloudy place.
Of course I was sick and didn't have much use of my voice for the experience. Just being there was worth it.
Somehow sleeping in a bed with my Dad is not as neat when I was a tot....you know, before a man shares a bed with a woman... this was not my favorite experience to revisit. The Pilow-talk was hella good though. No....not the Steve Irwin and Susan Sarandon senarios you and I shared Mr. Whitey.
I spent money....on new edition White-Wolf Campaigns at Sentry Box....awesome place....god damn the complete nerdom. I am not sure if I lose or not at this point.
I also purchased a new girlfriend. She lives in my car but still too new to stay in the trunk with the Cambodians She is that English voice that now gives me directions when I drive (A.K.A GPS Module). To be honest, Calgary road systems are so fucked up I might not have found my way out without her. I have fallen into the terrible habit of replying "Yes Dear," when she tells me to turn right in 300 meters, 200 meters, 100 meters, turn right. Hella neato!
Irn Bru...yum, writing in the hotel...yay. Saw the Forbidden Kingdom, t'was very good in a 'I'm not sure why' kinda way, it had a cheeky monkey man, alas my brother loved it. I also saw "Iron Man," you can really tell that this was the first one Marvel got really involved in....Downey Jr was the Stark. Nuff said....fuckin Primo if that's your bag baby.
The trip home from Edmonton I picked up my co-worker Kevin to drive back to Ft. Mac. I spent this weekend sleeping beside my dad and visiting my grandmother, what did you do? "Oh, I was knee deep in tang and hung out with lesbians who kissed each other for fun, got a tattoo & said fuck you to sobriety!" Ummmm....ouch...uhhh....neat. Ermm, my grandmother is well......sigh.....
If you couldn't tell, My brother Jeff & cousin Scott are a little addicted to military harware. My brother collects military uniforms from around the world, replica airsoft firepower, and fabricates (Hand makes) fake nazi gold, C4 and grenades. My cousin Scott collects authentic World War II uniforms, machine guns (professionally deactivated) and other neat WWII knick knacks. They both have a lot of Nazi like stuff....let me be quite clear when I state, they are not Nazis in spite of German Heritage, it's just the Nazis looked so cool and had better things than the rest.... both of them are very peace loving and un-fascist. Compare WWII Nazis apparel and weaponary to crappy Canadian gear.....yeah, we didn't have much...except balls of glory you bastard nazis....na na na...uhhh hrmmmm...fin.
So damnit....here I am, back at work. Missed 2 days to illness. Frack do I need to go home for a bit. Yeah....HOME. Do something crazy, like see a dentist...or....OR BUY A MOTORCYCLE....Woo! I need out Work sucks bad. Sinks in when your manager quits and says to you that you should get out while the gettin out is good :( What should I do? I do get mad loot. I don't need it, but damn if it don't help shit out. Alberta...I am not on your side. I indirectly work for an oil company...and there is no way I want to be here when this site is up and active, don't get me wrong....i'm no hippie, but fuck you if you can tell me that there hasn't been a change in the weather the last couple of years. Yes...yes...Global Warming = impending doom and the slayer of Icebergs & Ice-Bears alike! Stupid armored Ice-Bears....ummm, nevermind. On a more personal level, I just don't want to wake up to the smell of Invert invading every pour of my body and soul. So where am I left....no where? Where am I people? Where are you? Peek-a-boo! So for now I play at this foul-mummery...because I am currently paralyzed into in-action. Going home will give me that perspective I need. Not to mention hanky-panky...woop, woop! Writing shall commense....I will find myself there methinks.
As for you, well I might just write you later. Maybe.....likely....damnit, you are my addiction, I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I need and want to fuckin sleep, I just get so riculous....saavy?
Listening to: "Satellites and Astronauts" by In Flames
Reading: "Blade of Tyshalle" by Matthew Woodring Stover
-L'M'B 5月3日 Full Frontal & Advice That Would Give Dr. Sue a StrokeHello Fantastical friendly fans of my fixated FANTASIES!
My week has been really a blundered cluster fuck of epic proportions. Working constantly.....people never fail to disappoint you....well maybe not you, but me, as follows:
Day One:
A resident decides to be an absolute jack-ass in the bar. We are short staffed, I am the only one qualified and brutish enough to deal with possible violence. So I arrive to find a very inebriated french canadian like guy. The Bar attendant has kicked him out and several people come out into the hall wanting to destroy all 90 pounds of him. So buddy, lets call him Ralph, starts getting into these people's faces. All the while he keeps asking me to "Pet him back to his room." I imagine he wanted me to drag him away so he still feels tough and then he actually wouldn't have to fight. So I grant his wish, without the "pet"ing part and escort him back to his room. So that is when I find out what his deal is, he was asked by another resident to play darts. This resident we'll call Jack. Well, Jack has a facial deformity. I found out that he has had 3 surgeries to get where he is with a disease he was born with. Well Ralph decided to say to Jack, "How can you win me, you have no chin!" So yeah, buddy didn't see anything wrong with that. He then made up the conspiracy that the problem was that the Bar attendant was angry at him because when he tried to flirt with her, and when she ignored him he called her pregnant. So at that point when he went out for a smoke, she convinced 5 guys to go beat the shit out of him. I'm sure these guys were huge, Hell's Angels even, well i'm sure Ralph would try to tell you so. Well they were going to try and fight him and when he didn't back down, because he is small.....well that unnerved them. Ralph isn't scared of nobody! He then said, "I'm a skinny shit, well you are big and fat, and that guy has no chin, how can he beat me at darts?" He then told me how he was beat up by his father and that he will kill these guys if they try to mess with him. He then felt he should tell me that he can see that i'm not afraid of him (I didn't disagree) but he would fight no matter if they were 7 feet tall. Of course, then he said that we were all rascist because he was french, told me that I didn't understand Montreal people....because they are all crazy. To skip the rest, he poked me in the abdomen a lot and I really don't like that. When we got to his floor I asked him if he got his room key, Ralph then said, "Why you gonna come into my room and fuck me...fuck off!?" My reply was, "We'll see how the night goes!" I was a little pissed at this point, I left and didn't hear a peep out of him again that night..... I really hope he was awake all night worried that I was gonna go to his room to take him up on his offer. Ralph, you are a piece of shit.... story over.
Day 2:
Two ladies approached the desk, told me that there was a really drunk guy in the hall. Well, I wasn't really that surprised.....as per usual. Nevertheless, low and behold there is a fella who is falling over and banging his face off the wall. So I approach and he has three buddies trying to get him to go back to his room. This guy sees me and starts yelling "Nova Scotia" at me. Trying to shake my hand..... I still really don't get it. Well not to drag this out, he refuses, starts getting angry at his friends, me ..... the crack he is using... who knows, and rips his shirt off. His one buddy takes off his shirt and offers it to this fella, we'll call him Frank. Well Frank throws it aside, his belt also begins failing him and beer cans begin falling out of his pants. Frank then calls me a 'Monkey' and threatens me in a language I am not familliar with....Italian? Portugese? Well either way it was accompanied with the throat slitting motion with his thumb. I'm a big boy, no big deal.... I tell his friends to ge him back to his room and make sure he stays there...then there is no big deal. They ask me to be kind because his girlfriend is 7 months pregnant.... I say "whatever, just get him to his bed." Well they try and try. He spits in one guys face, so he leaves....2 friends left. Then he tries to punch another guy but fails so he just bites him in the arm hard enough to bruise....another one fucks off....1 friend left Frank. Frank somewhere along the way loses the most important thing....his pants. So here is this one fella trying to drag Frank back to his room kicking, screaming and oh yeah...naked. I do not get paid enough to wrestle a naked man back to his room. No man will fight you if you are naked.... they are afraid it will somehow lead to sex. Well Frank gets really cracked out and begins flailing around on the floor in his birthday suit. I begin making phone calls to try and get him in the drunk tank for the night as the last friend is about to leave. Luckily some random guy who got woken up from the noise came out and helped litterally drag naked Frank back to his room. (All the while being subjected to racial slurs as he was a black guy....and a saint in my opinion, because I gave up on Frank at this point). Well I got called a monkey a few more tims before Frank's naked ass was tossed on his bed and within five seconds he was in the fetal position and passed out. I feel sorry for the cleaning lady in the morning. You Frank are a piece of shit, i'm sure your seven months pregnant girlfriend would be really proud of you.....story over.
I am tired of talking about work...it sucks a lot lately, we are short staffed and in over our heads with work load. I'm so tired.
Dr. Sue....where were you? Dr. Suess.... you have never left me when I needed you most.
I have become the relationship guy once again, you know that friend who is there to talk to you about your boyfriend, your ex....your pool boy or whatever. I thought I left these days behind....because bitches you never call me when you are having a fucking fantastic day. But in this case it is for an awesome friend, my poor sweet Amber. Makes it worse that I am friends with the boyfriend.... why do your friends fuck each other? It inevitably makes things for me much worse. Being in the same environment as me, poor Amber has nothing else to focus on....not to mention work related negative influences to have to deal with. What an unhealthy situation. I am trying to be helpful, she tells me I am always right and that I am awesome, doesn't change the fact that I can not help at this point. I am at the point where I am no longer talking and merely listening..... interupting with a "You are being fucking retarded," when one needs to be heard. I would like to think she is getting better, but she needs to go deal with her shit.... not getting any better up here
:( Good luck sweety.....ugh.
Brings me to the point.....relationships fucking suck. If you are in one....it is new, it is fresh....I'm sure you don't know what the bad man is talking about. However, likely you have listened to "Do You Believe in Life After Love" by Cher and felt momentarily enlightened. I have been this relationship guy too many times.....I don't know you, I don't care. All these bitches have one of these fuckin guys in a storage closet somewhere....yes you do, that fat, awkward, nerd guy who cares more than your boyfriend/husband/pool boy ever did. Too bad he just isn't fuckable? (Not case specific, but he is also likely dying to fuck you...except he would cuddle, maybe even call and buy you a coffee in the morning) Well, this guy has to go through every emotional, ice-cream binging, tear soaked shirt adventure you have the tenacity to take him on.....why does he put up with it? Yeah, maybe he might even be around for the next fling too, but the time for the "Relationship Guy" is now, revolt my brothers!!!! Down with users....down with the pushers...... down with...ah... ANARCHY!!!!! Sorry, had to get that one out. So next time you here the words "My Boyfriend...My Boyfriend..." repeatedly in one conversation, especially in one sentence....leave the bitch, get a coke and remember your X-Box actually wants to be intimate and interactive with you. I want to spell something quite plainly here, I am not talking about those girls who might think to ask how my day is or might care about me without coaxing a stale compliment now and then so I continue to listen. I am referencing the type of snatch who when I talk about myself sometimes, that I can see they do not understand how anything I said relates to them and/or their relationship. So my real friends, my poor Amber I am there for you....you call me on your good days. You might even stop and think, "How's your day, my favorite asshole like friend?" (You've come to know how my being blunt is harsh but good for you in the end....like Scotch..mmmm yum).
I Have Gone almost 3 weeks without any positive female influences....negative time of year I guess. Patience is a virtue....
Ladies...I know men are terrible....but women are not without their bloody issues.
The best form of relationship I can conceive at this point involves chloroform and my trunk. Tears are just another form of lubrication.....(if you're a sicko....so is blood!) But don't take my word for it, ask Levar Burton from Reading Rainbow :) I think he's Laforged more than a few Vietnemese hookers in the back of his U.S.S Econoline Van.
I think I am malfunctioning! Error....Error....Error 404
Listening to: "Scream Aim Fire" by Bullets For My Valentine
Reading: Just Finnished: "The Born Queen" by Greg Keyes, book four the end of his series...very good, but missing something
that the first 3 had...not disappointed though. I think, ummmm....nope.
On: "Blade of Tyshalle" by Matthew Woodring Stover....first book I've ever re-read...always scared off falling behind, but it's
just so freaking awesome. Ahhhh....good. Second in a series but you can read it first, makes no difference.
-L'M'B 4月19日 Home to Madhouse to BoneHoUsE!Looks Like I return here with thoughts of Grim,
I guess I'm just not in the mood for happy fun time or rather I am in the mood but play no reindeer games.
How does a bad day start? Lets review!
I got up, it was -17 when scant days ago it was +17.
I was late for work again...yet I didn't really feel bad about it.
I scraped fresh snow off of my dirty sad new car (still thinking about the paint chips I found when I spent $26 the other day washing industrial diesel fall out off of it.
I had to turn off the AC to turn on the defrost.
I git to work and my buddy Kevin has covered for me, he's just a good fella.
As I was eating breakfast I realized that there is not much joy in eating for me, it has become more or less a chore.
I got to thinking how dissappointed I was that I didn't get the writing done I set aside for myself on my three days off, instead I Conan the barbarian defeated the bad evil wizard and saved many bare-breasted women while doing so. That was pretty swanky I guess, not too bad a game.
Work politics is driving me mad and even worse I am now trying to time my meal schedual around the times that I am least likely to see my co-workers as I spend twelve hours a day working and have no desire to sit afterwards and bitch about it.
The day as usual is not too bad... but will get worse as all of management is quitting pretty much, or getting fired, we are getting cut back to three guards per shift.... so we are going to be unable to handle the work load, also seems like I am going to be less of a supervisor and more of the guy who does everything every other guard does and still has to find the time to be the boss.
I gave my text message sound in my phone the sound of a "gong" crash....I thought it was neat, in fact I thought that it would be interesting enough that I could easily differentiate the sound from other peoples cell phones. Well it has now driven me insane, every time I get a text message now I fear it is time for Mortal Kombat to commense. So I said farewell to 2 weeks of watching my back for Reptile....and hello basic bloop sound.
I am spending a lot of time watching others go, taking vacations to interesting places...Domminican Republic, Cuba, Mexico...delicious beverages and relaxation. Here I am with no off time in sight...bank account fuller than it has been in forever, yet it is money with obligations...dammit. I feel like i'm missing out on so much.
This leaves me to think of my future and how I desperately am considering radical change. What will I do next? I can't go back into financial desparity.... what do I do, where can I go? Well the closest place I can think of going to where I haven't been in a while and might do me hella good is the Gym. I crave health.
Change....
Maybe I can find some gypsies and travel the world casting spells on vagrants.
I felt sad when a kitchen girl told me she was leaving at the end of the month to go be with her boyfriend in Ireland who is a street performer who is a specialty juggler & tumbler.... why does that sound so cool?!?!?!
Not to mention damn Facebook is full of old Highschool classmates that got hot and seem to be doing so much more than you have..... or at least that is what they are advertising....where is the guy who got a crack addiction and sucks cock for quarters in gas station bathrooms....oh god...I hope it's not me!!!!
I must say that I am blessed in many ways, I have good friends and Angela text messages. I just feel so god damned disconnected. Unplugged and tossed in the tub. I suppose that is what happens when you fall so far from your venting chums and human release. Instead of other peoples problems and human refuse.
I am not the type who easily allows himself to be a number and so far below the radar that he gets shit on. There is that ego of mine, won't die no matter how self concious I can get at times.
I just wont end up another number on the road to the PBH (Pine Box Hotel). You see these people work like dogs, think themselves rich and special.... then they die...alone and with not much to show for it.
From home you graduate to the Madhouse and the more you struggle you end up quicker in the Bonehouse. I don't like this equasion.
I need a different path.
I wonder why I subject other people to this nonsense, when maybe I should just write this shit in word and keep it locked away. Nobody really needs or wants to read this. Maybe i'll make this place for funnies or witty ripostes.
Why does it seem like everyones relationships are failing? I have had 5 people tell me of this stuffs this week. It makes me sad.
Maybe reading "Catcher in the Rye" by JD. Salinger was a terrible idea, the worlds first emo kid that bitched about everything...EVERYTHING! Well except his eroticism with his little sister....yes i'm a bad man. Though there were some attentive points about humanity and types of peoples mannerisms. Umm, yeah,
So what I might do when I get off of work is .... maybe i'll make myself some new cd's, dream about listening to them when I am going somewhere.
The one thing that makes all this crap a whole lot better, I have the new "In Flames" CD!!!
Dammit,
the one thing that takes it a notch down is that In Flames will be coming through up here with the Gigantour...Saskatoon, Calgary, Edmonton....all "SOLD OUT!"
Kinda like me :0)
Listening to: Work
-L'M'B
P.S - The funny thing is, Mortal Kombat movie is on the t.v right now in the lobby, looks like it has commensed.
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