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Lord Mix'M'Bad's Loft of Peripheral OneiromancyWhere Shadows Meet Dream. Now Let Me Tell You A Story Of... September 28 Too Many Pu$$ies With a Tin EarThe Music Industry......
I have spent a month an a half sorting my music library for the purposes of backing it all up. During this process with the help of Youtube and Wikipedia I researched most of the bands I was protecting, to make sure my information was right and to see if these bands came out with new material I was not aware of. This research was startling, many of these wonderful bands in fact disbanded, left for new projects and fell beneath the crush of undeserved failure. I also came across a few new bands and in this research I came to a horrendous discovery, there are way too many pussies with a Tin Ear! Don't get me wrong, I am okay with the fact that I have many disagreements with other metalheadz on what is to be considered good music, so why argue to point (Blah Blah, I hate Mnemic's new singer, he ruined them!! Blah Blah). My range is huge.... punk, indie, Prog Rok, Synthpop, Industrial, Fantasy Metal, Steam Punk.... but there are just a few things so bad that I can't even laugh, it just hurts me so much that it exists that..... well I don't know how I can go on. So I share with you my "WINNER" for biggest piece of crap ever distributed and liked by people while pretending to have shreds of integrity. The song is called "Freakxxx" by Brokencyde (Yes Broke Inside, I get it...... I also feel that way, Because of You Gaytards, thanks), listed under the Genre title of Crunkcore! Here it is for your viewing pleasure:
Okay, now who thinks we were a bit too harsh when we decided Painful Euthanasia was morally wrong? My god, this piece of crap would make even the most flaming emo kid SHART his pants. Okay, we got Baby-Gap Pimps rapping it out with some douche in a pig costume, regurgitating some form of hardcore pussy vomit while the ProstiTots get paid way too little to dance for these pink hoodie wearing failed abortions. Notice how the Douche Baggets take turns choking the one poor little ProstiTot, they don't know any better sweety, that is how Daddy showed them love. I also like how there is just the one random dude dancing like he accidentally came across some flaming douche party and decided to start crunkin it up so he didn't get noticed enough to be injected with date-rape drugs to play out some demented victim in the form of a Suburban "Deliverence." That is how the guy in the Pig Costume got auditioned. I believe this video to have the same musical credibility as this:
Well I believe I spent far too much time on these Bag-tagging Thuglets. Apparently there is this well of hate that I have not been nurturing for a while. I better kick this in the nugget before it goes too far, and I am seen as one of those supremist types, as depicted here:
Well with all these musical down-notes I had to look to something to bring me back up..... but what... YES, YESSSSS!!!! Rammstein is making new music again, they have a new video...... Lord be praised! You guys made me love dirty and dark, so lets see this bad boy! What? A disclaimer? Oh.... I get it, you guys are a little artsy and edgey....I can appreciate that. What the song is called German Pussy? Oh....well..... yeah, just see for yourself:
oh.... okay I was worried when I heard the lyrics "You have a pussy, I have a dick'a, so what's the problem? Lets do it quick." It was like most of their videos until... well until it became a porn. Ya... we could do music...or we could make german non-shizer porn, a national first. Oh my, I really hope their music doesn't fail. Disheartened once again.... oy.
So quickly to my life. I am looking to get off this EI and be productive again. Damn it is not easy. I spent all that time up north dreaming of my friends and loved ones, mournfully looking at pictures of the fun we once had. But since i've been back I now realize that people got used to me not being around. Due to lifestyles, I have not been spending the quality time I once envisioned. So now I almost mourn being the big bad boss up north again. It was good to feel apart of something, given respect and even admirations. Things are tough right now too with the health. My skin condition is out of control, covering my hands, feet and legs. Painful and itchy is my life right now. My current doctor seems to have given up after assaulting me with at least 4 uneffective $70 creams. I ahave gone for a biopsy and now must wait till the middle of next month to see a specialist. There are a lot of really scary possibilities of what this affliction might be and now I stir in them waiting for answers. I am not really in the best of spirits but damn all if i'm not trying. Auto-Immune, Brain Swelling, Lupus, among a few. Well I guess I will just have to spend some more motorcycle therapy time this week and see if I can't turn that frown upside down. I love you peeps, thanks for investing your time in me. Laterz!
Listening To: "Apocalypse Meow" by You Say Party! We Say Die!
Reading: "Jericho Moon" by Matthew Woodring Stover
-Ian / L'M'B September 15 It's Pretty Bad When Corky Thinks You're Gaytarded!
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August 19 Pick Me Up... Buttercup, not With yer ButtWhat a Bummer, i'm a little down today for some reason.
I am not sure why.... I just had a pretty good week staying with dad in the Dorf, hangin with local bitches n bros.
So I must cheer myself up....
maybe watching dudes in leotards doing some homoerotic shenanigans to technology will help:
that was pretty good, but we need to step it up a little bit. I wan't Ice Cream to stuff the depression, some thick beats to bring funk into the soul and some mad hot librarians making sexy time with the Bad. Internet, make it happen!
they won't let me embed the video.....bastards. Oh Well be old fashioned then. Click the link to wax yer dink. This Milkshake will bring the boys... to the Dentists Office?
later,
-L'M'B
Listening to Easy Love of course.
Reading Walking Dead Graphic Novel #10
August 09 Catch-Up Living, Ketchup VacationHi'yall,
I posting from my Solitude of Fortress....not to be mix'D up with Super's pad. I am just mulling a few things over, bear with me here.
I can drink 128.65 cups of Tim Hortons before I die.
I can drink 160.81 cans of Monsters before I die.
I can drink 677.11 cans of Pepsi-Cola before I die.
consequently,
I can drink 5146.05 glasses of chocolate milk, then I croak.....
oh &,
I can eat 6432.56 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and I am undone.
Check out your chances at:
So I have been pretty event minded lately. I've been doing my best to catch up on doing things. Well it has been 2 years of not really being out there and having mucho funanas! I've been to 5 campfire Gatherings this summer already. I got to go see the Lego Exhibit at the Science Center, added a few pictures to my highlight reel on the page. Lego is neat, recognize!!!! Also there has been mucho Motorcycle badassery on the go, I even had little Jason Pisswarm come down and cruise with me in our new bikegang, "The Scorpion Deathstingers!!!," pretty cutting edge I know. Actually we never consulted on the name but there is just two of us and I have just assumed leadership....Recognize!
Also, I got down with Hammertime. Now my very first cassette tape was MC Hammer, truth. Followed by Simpsons Sing the Blues or some crap. Anyways, that man raised me with his gentle hearted jams. In fact I feel confident that we are close enough now that I can call him Uncle Hammer. Well Uncle Hammer had a show at our ex, here in the Queen City. What I noticed about this experience was that while the crowd was waiting for Uncle H to begin, it was less like people waiting for a show and more like a Clan Rally lynching. A lot of people were muttering things like, "If he starts preaching i'm gonna lose it," & " I can't believe we couldn't find something better to do than MC Hammer." Lets just say I was distressed about this. I was afraid my yokel bretheren would turn away from the goodness that is Uncle Hammer and go so far to make this another Matt Good "Shoe Incident" Mind you he is the Hammer and would probably catch that shit on his feet, just before another oh-wee-oh-wee-oh. So he gets on and people are pretty quiet, little kids are shaking there things. The Hammer is wise to this and starts telling a few stories, does a tribute to MJ, does a shout out to the 2-Pac, and by the end everybody thinks he is just 2 Legit to Quit, he Turn'D that Mutha Out! You can tell he has been in his biz for a while and he knew how to win over a crowd that wasn't his, job well done. Even better he got a few of his kids out there dancin it up or singing with him, well played. We love you Booby and Jeramiah! His 2 Pac story was a little funny, it goes as Hammer was not feeling a few home boys, so he was spinning some record in the studio calling down some bitches when 2-Pac came in and told the Hammer to stop. 2-Pac said Hammer, don't be calling out those home boys, that is Pac's job, Hammer you are there to make everybody feel good. That is when Pac told the Hammer that some of his songs got him through prison. Sweet, NO? Uncle Hammer told it better, but don't take my word for it, take Levar Burtons.... he spins the Hammer tracks as he prepares to LaFORGE alien bitches from east to west quadrant.
So I use the term Ketchup Vacation. Ketchup is pretty run of the mill, but is still just so damn good and necessary sometimes; that is kind of how my vacation went. My vacation existed in Alberta, yeah that damn place I go through to get to work. No European, Asian, Tropical or U.S tours like many of my home-slices are or have been on recently. Alberta..... yawn. In spite of this it ended up being a pretty swanky odd type time. We stayed out in Olds with Shannon and her family (Family Friends), Which I really liked because she stays in a nice country house just off the number 2 highway a ways. There are horses in the back yard. It was awesome. So phase one was multiple trips between Calgary and Red Deer to get the seeing family bit over with. Then me and Angie split up from Dad and my bro, to go on to spend a day in Banff. We had like ATV Tour or horsey riding plans...then came implement weather so we wandered around instead for shopping, sight seeing and some numy-nums. It was nice. We also took very scenic mountain roads to and from making a few neat stops at Deadman Flats (????Not flat and my gas attendant was so not a Zombie?!?) and to Ghost Lake (No handjob from Casper, but bloody children handprints on rocks...er is it paint?!?!) and the Ghost Station (Where I imagine Ghost Rider gets his gas, Pringles and Redbulls to fuel that Pennance Stare). There are pictures.....
Then things get weird, we are told to go see the Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington. So we said why not. We arrive at Torrington the day we are leaving, it is an itty bitty town that has a 25ft Cartoon Stylized Gopher Statue at the junction of their Main Street and the Highway, so we didn't miss the turn-off. We get to thie museum where we are greeted by a nice little English lady. She charges us $2 to enter this museum. I get worried. We go through the frontroom of this retro-fitted house and go through to the back where we find 70 display cases full of stuffed gophers all dressed in little people clothes, potraying little scenes from around the town, like the town bar or church or bank, where these stuffed animals are dressed appropriately, sometimes with witty comic book captions portraying town banter. Well lets just say panic welled within me as I expected some sort of mentally challenged murderer to capture us in the Gopher Mausoleum and use our human'ee parts to stuff gophers with. I over reacted, I understand this. Even weirder was that it was the first thing in the morning and we were not the first ones there, oh how the people loved the cute stuffed little buggers, the laughter of children still haunting me to this day. So I was forced to ask the little chatty ol English Lady what was the deal. She told me Torrington wanted to bring in some tourism. They apparently already had all their fire hydrants painted as gophers, and they already had the cartoon gopher character whose name escapes me at this time. So the next step, genocide taxodermy...ha! That is whe we also found out there was a Zoo 20 km farther up the road, WHAT?!?!? Ferkin rights! So we each buy a $2 torrington pen and double up our spendings and hit the road.
So we take a turn off the highway onto a gravel road in rural Alberta where we come upon a very large farm, here we find what is called the GuZoo. Upon arrival we find that there are dogs, cats and horsies all over the place. We go into the office to find out that we will be spending $10 for this tour. We also learn that this is a privately owned zoo but not in the creepy way it sounds like those Torrington people. It is an animal rescue and shelter, taking all sorts of species being looked after by what is mainly volunteers. You know like somebody's exotic pet stop being cute, or a crate of Pandas breaks open on the highway so they give the parts to the GuZoo (Just kidding I think). We go through the petting zoo where I make quick friends with a shy mule I call Eeyore, try to be friends with the Llamas who i always thought were cool but turns out they are just jerks. I tried to pet the one but he just kept twitching his neck violently and looking at me with those rape-prey eyes. Then the lady says he must like me because most people don't get that close to him.....I wondered why he was in the petting zoo. We went elsewhere. The lady volunteer at the place followed us where she let Angela play with a baby Raccoon named Smootchy, it tried to eat her neclaces, bit into my $22 watch and scratched, i was pissed. Apparently Raccoons purr, weird huh? I got to play with a Wolf Cub who i was able to convince to go beat up one of the cats, unfortunately he was the pussy because the stupid ol cat made hissy noises and scared him away, it was easier for him to go eat those T-Bone steaks they were feeding him. I don't get treated that well. He was a lot like a puppy but you could tell by his fur that he was a wild animal, hard to explain. So I will not get into crazy detail here but there was a jerk face foamy mouthed Camel who was prejudice against me, lots of livestocky things, buffalo, Reindeer, Yaks, Goats, a spastic Ostrich who I caught using his head and neck to scratch his back while his eyes were rolling up into it's head. There were dingos, Tigers, Lions, Bears, Monkeys, leemurs, Red Assed Baboons, Silver Fox (Not to be confused with Star Fox's Fox McCloud, Slippy Toad, Peppy Hare & Falco Lombardi who were also totally there) Timber Wolves, Coyotes (Not exactly zoo material) as well as a lot of neat lizards, birds and fuzzy things. This was the best Zoo experience I ever had, Calgary, Toronto, etc, the best is some rural farm in Alberta, ferkin weird hey? Apparently a lot of these species are able to thrive in our climate..... i didn't know that either? Quite a few Hudderites, Mennenites er whatever were out at the zoo that day, there was a little pug-nosed dog very upset with them and chased them prejudicely.....animals can be so cute when their hearts are full of hate. Once again I posted a few pictures on my livespace but if you want the whole bunch check out my Facebook.
So I am getting tired of typing old and should go do something, so I am going to ignore all those typing mistakes and spelling errors and go play somewhere. Find more shenanigans to get into, so will you come play with me....yar you will!
Listening to: "Trouble" by Skindred Reading: "Fables Graphic Novel Series - #9 Sons of Empire"
-L'M'B July 07 Fee Fie Fo Fudge MooseknuckleAh crud,
my time off is going less well than expected.
I have managed to get addicted to television, screw you Dr. House.
I have become poor waiting for the guvEARNment to give over the sweet pogey, as they force me to use my vacation pay to survive.
My bad for poor planning I guess.
What I really wanted was an honest to god vacation.
Mind you I will be going with family and girl to go to see Oma and Tante but that is Calgary and not a vacation, as calgary is just a sometimes stop between here and work.
On the plus side I spent a very good week with dad helping him do yardwork and stuff, it was real nice, pulled me back into the highschool days section of memory. Too bad so many things have to change...... yay that things change, does that statement make me complicated?
I think I need some positive change, I already know I have some pretty serious things to mull over.....godammit I don't want to though.
I got a proffessional massage for the first time in my life from a butcher...er I mean Naturopath. I kind of expected it to be relaxing and wonderful. Instead as I was not pre-warned it was pressure, pain and me in my almost birthday suit on a table with some dude who made me feel his wrath. Ha, i'm okay with pain and it wasn't over the top er nothing, just surprised.......surprised on how many parts of my body have never felt pressure or MANipulation! For 45 minutes after Ifelt like magic, even my brain was a'twitter. After that I was just loose as a goose (Specially one subjected to duck-rape). Followed by two days of noticeable soreness, then back to general content. So overall, after mixed feelings.... it might be worth another try. Anyways, who cares what I think about massage?
Lego exhibit at the Science Centre was cool, i'll post pictures later. Science Center rocks.
I spent time with old work friend Jeanette today who was driving through on her way back to home in Newfoundland. It was pleasant, tried to take her out somewhere to an authentic Reginian restaurant, first choice was Nicky's Cafe.....awesome but closed, okay so to the 60's diner Izzy Magoo's all the way across town, out of buisness.....what?!?! Dammit. End up at.....the Regent, very plain but the food is dependably good. However far from taking someone to 5 star Regina cuisine. She liked it. Toured around, took a few pictures around the legislative buildings, Wascana park and the R.C.M.P Depot. Not too bad a time I guess.
Frick, seems like i'm trying too hard right now to report to the internet that I do stuff, especially when I haven't posted in forever. Well frigg it, frigg you internet, if there is anything else it is a secret, i'm off to bed after two last important thoughts:
1. I want to make a shout out to you Whitey, poor ol fella trapped up in a Korean Hospital with icky insides. I miss you man. I read your stuff and am glad to hear you are on the road to recovery. Dude, this might sound a little gay but right now I wish I could be your mama kangaroo, you my little baby kangaroo tucked all safe and warm in my sticky, sweet mama kangaroo sack/pouch. Yer my boy, Blue! Mama loves you.
2. Much less importantly, I am finally taking on the new and possibly last revenge compilation. Is it possible the world is just running out TERRIBLE, FUNNY BAD and PAINFUL EXPERIENCE music? I have so much that it is gonna take forever to go through it for this disk. However, I call on you people of the internet to help me find the funniest, most terrible music you know or can think of. Please comment here, e-mail me your ideas, youtube videos, whatever..... if it is bad and can be used for pain on others, share it with me. I NEED YOUR HELP TO SPREAD MY VERY SPECIFIC VERSION OF EVILNESS UPON THE WORLD. If not, well you are just being a stupid faced - Paul Walker. Think on that.
Peace, love and bad music for you all
- L'M'B
Listening to: "Definition of a Hero" by Diecast
Reading: "Working For the Devil" by Lilith Saintcrow (See what I read when you are not here to direct me Whitey-San, Gweilo Ryan!!! Haven't read more than 10 pages yet, expectations are low.....i guess i'll let you know)
May 24 Escape Clause, Now Contemplate Exit StrategyI packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m. And I'm gonna be bored as Ferk by then I miss the peeps so much I miss my life It's lonely out in camp On such a timeless Night And I think it'ss gonna be a long long time Till this let down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm the mutha F@ckin Security Man! Security man burning out his use up here alone Fort Mac ain't the kind of place to raise your kids In fact it's cold as hell And there's no one there to raise them if you did (Because they love the crack!) And all this madness I don't understand It's just my job 12 hours a day, 7 days a week to be lost and confused and ready to rock like a mutha F@ckin Security Man!
Then all of a sudden Security Man no More?!?!?!
Well that is it kiddies, I might be a government artist in as little as 4 days, there is no date to leave given as of yet...or out date even though we were told that shit is to go down June 1st. I really don't need to get into details but more or less our crew has been given the option to live in Frt Mac and suffer demotion to stay or take lay-off. Logical answer is easy, this cowpoke is getting the f@ck out of Dodge. I better get some beauty rest here, but no doubt i'll be getting more time to update soon. Don't worry too much kiddies, I kind of warm to thought of having a very free and available summer. Okay you nutters, look after yo'selves and come back now ye'hear. Dudes, I totally miss you!
Listening to: "World of Promises" by In Flames
Reading: "The Day Watch" by Sergei Lukyanenko
-L'M'B April 02 April Fools GoldHey....
Yeah I know it's been a while. C'mon baby you know I meant to call but stuff came up. Well treat a blog reader like dirt and they'll stick to you like mud. Not that the actch has been crazy faced but I have been neglecting quite a few things. Like the photos I just posted, most of them were trapped on my phone when I sent it back to Sony to fix.... so that could be as old as last Nov / Oct.
I am still in the North where the recession forces me to work less days without OT and I do believe I am a fool to be continuing down this course, especially as the political regime at work is rising to a disreputable flourish. Yet I still show up with my game face on and do what is necessary. The terrible thing is that the practable joke is on me for leaving no room to manoeuvre. So I shall fret not and instead be patient, be wise, curb this insatiable amount of sleeping and if it all goes 'South,' then so do I and call this moot. I miss you lady, my family, my friends (some who got to totally go to Cancun.... jealousy) my music, my writing and even parts of myself, however I believe it was said by Anthrax, "You Can Not Kill What Does Not Die!" Unless it is a zombie, then I recommend headshots and chainsaws. However if it is Meatloaf the sparkly vampire then there is no known course of egress. Meatloaf wins Mortal Kombat!
Listening to: "Red Stars" by The Birthday Massacre Reading: "The Judging Eye (The Aspect Emperor Book 1) by R. Scott Bakker Watching: "True Blood Season 1" ..........What a fun series!!!! - L'M'B
P.S - Today I saw a very Jamaican Lady sing Celine Dion and it bothered me more than a little, not only that but she saw me watching her, nodded towards me and started singing louder. I didn't know what to do, so I broke out a little dance move. I really hate myself for that, perhaps I made her happy but I can not condone anyone singing that, especially those from a culture rich in music. Now if it was an Estonian I might understand. By the way Meatloaf covers a Celine Dion song, or the other way around..... that is equally disturbing. I am too tired to look it up right now, just a random thought, night!
February 19 This is What Happens Every Time I Close My Eyes!
February 13 DND - Sleeping.....*Yawn*
You have not heard much from me since November, wowzers.
I have been in hiateus.....i've been sleeping.
In fact I have failed to comment on many events: My birthday (Nov 15), Christmas, New Years and I even managed to hide during the international clown day (Feb 1st), i'm free for another year you fuckers, at least until the Shriners drag your dirty cages back to town..... I digress.
Where was I? Well I was sleeping.
Truly and figuratively.
I've merely been surrounded in this Northern locale working to replenish my financial situation after the heavy spending of last year. I've barely touched the internet device at all....in fact i'm embarrassed I have not even replied to my birthday well wishes and such from November. I have 173 e-mails stacked up and I only took one small attempt to knock a few off. I must say Facebook, Wayn, CD Plus, Birthday Alarm and the Omega Order..... I will be coming for your children....then I will send you as many ransom notes/body parts as you send me annoying e-mails.
I have also been doing a lot of pondering, nothing important.....just some inflections and some random thoughts,
like "Why does every week seem like 'Shark Week' on Animal Planet?"
Moreso I didn't have much to say and mainly kept to myself.
So whatelse could I do but completely drown myself in media?
Here are some examples but screw real reviews.... nobody cares....or if they do they can ask me or already know!
Books:
- "Caine Black Knife" by Matthew Stover - T'was really good, not as good as "Blade of Tyshalle" but what can you do?
- "King and Emperor" by Harry Harrison - Also very good, true to the series and a decent end to the story arc, go Shef!
- "Perdido Street Station" by China Mieville - You know it was fucked up, better than "The Scar" and very engrossing, even made me learn new words.... of course the ending had to be screwy but i'll let that go.
- Currently reading "King Rat" by China Mieville which is good so far, testament to Perdido Street Station that i'd pick up another of his books I guess.
Graphic Novels:
- "Conan - The Nemedian Chronicals" by Kurt Busiek & Greg Ruth (Changes throughout series however) #'s 0, 3, 4, 5, 6 + "Conan & the Midnight God" from some other series..... you know what? Get Arnold Swartznegger out of your head and you will find Conan to be a wonderfully visual thing. Yes big monster goes smashy smashy, well even so I had a good time reading these really thick comic books with wonderful visual art based on short stories and novels I read which were likely butchered by Sprague du Camp and Lin Carter...I think that is their names...in fact who cares, i'm too tired/apathetic to google it. These seemed more Howard'ian to me, and tied up a lot of bridges between storylines in a very successful way. Too bad I am missing some issues, but I really enjoyed cranking through them.
- "Northlanders - Book 1: Sven the Returned" by Brian Wood & Davide Gianfelice. I was on a Conan kick and here I found Vikings doing what Vikings do best, Kicking ass and taking names...or loot...or maybe even your women, but still very good.
- "Marvel's Deadpool's Classics": Hey, it was an assembly of my favorite Marvel character in his first appearances. He wasn't at his strongest at the point where it ends so all it did was wet my appetite for more Deadpool graphic novels..... damn too bad I never seem to be able to find them. Why does he get beat down so much?
- "Dark Wraith of Shanara" by Robert Place Napton, Edwin David (Under the ever watchful eyes of Terry Brooks. Well as a young adult I really enjoyed your schtick Mr. Brooks. You even use some of my favorite characters in this adaptation. But it kinda sucked. Part of me took a little bit of pleasure, but mostly this book was more inflicted than enjoyed. Makes me want to take a drink or 12 and want to talk to Allanon.
- "Fantasy Classics....ummm err...I lent it out so I forget who by. It was very mediocre. It was a compilation of graphic novelization of horror classics like Mary Shelly's Frankenstine and Rappincci's Daughter and some weirdo H.P Lovecraft short story about cats eating Zoogs. It was alright, the art really lacked though but I can handle that. Nuff said.
Movies:
- "Repo! The Genetic Opera" - Absolutely wonderful. Post Apocalyptic surgery musical with Anthony Stewart Head (Giles from Buffy) as a headlining actor. Then on the same note you realize Paris Hilton is also in it.... but you still find it to be absolutely smashing!
- "Catch a Fire" - It was all about the damn Boer's in South Africa and Mr. Tim Robbins who is holding the black man down, so Derek Luke decides to join the ANC (Freedom Fighter / Terrorists) after being unnecissarily tortured so he can sing with the others in a colourful way about using bazookas to destroy their enemies during the 80's oppression. Part True Story, orphanages to go around at the end, I was very enthusiastic.
- "Partition" - A dangerous love occurs between a strong but silent Sikh Man and a wilful but proud Muslim girl during the tumultous time when India and Pakistan seperate.....oooh, and I got caught in the middle....look out TRAIN! T'was good.
- "Paul Blart - Mall Cop" - I expected better having once been a Mall "Cop." I give it a 6.5
- "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" - Blarg. Visually as good as the first two but the storyline was summed up in the 2 minutes we saw in th first movie, I literally learned nothing new. Whatever, could be worse.
This does not include the copious amounts of t.v, half watched movies, reading materials I must have forgot about, downloading/purchasing/listening to/researching/organizing new music/albums to feed my obsession and the 4 days straight of playing the highly repetative but most enjoyable video game "Assassin's Creed." By the way what another bastard ending that was.....urk. So now you know why I haven't contacted you or done anything, poor excuse eh? Well I might actually update next time instead of randomly spewing stuff onto the blog. Let's just consider it a little bit of typing exercise. I will get back to those people who have been left by the wayside, be patient.... I am not right in the head. Toodles, i'm off to sleep.
Listening to: "Hello" by Dirty Little Rabbits
-L'M'B November 11 It's Not the Living Fu$%ing the Dead You Need to Worry About Prt 2This is Part 2 of my Most Wonderful Music Review, please see previous entry for the first installment, lets continue shall we?
19. Mnemic
Album: “Passenger” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 3 “Meaningless”
Genre: “Industrial Metal”
Overview: This band caught my eye with their album “Mechanical Spin Phenomena.” It had a lot in common with a “Fear Factory” quality sound with a whole lot of jive that was their own direction completely. But this album was not an easy listen and their combined instruments did fuse at points to make what can only be called noise but even still they pulled out a few truly epic tunes. In this new release their line-up changes seem to have shaped them in new ways having some of that old style but fused with more melodic harmonies in the song chorus’. Combined with their almost ‘Meshuggah,’ style rhythms and break-downs it seems to be a winning combination. Still not an easy listen for you glam mainstream ‘metalheadz,’ but if you want something out of the average screamy death thrusts, try on Mnemic’s mechanical skull-fuck, yah?
18. The Birthday Massacre
Album: “Walking With Stangers” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 1 “Kill the Lights”
Genre: “Goth Rock / Synthpop”
Overview: This band caught my attention with their track “Blue” off of their 2004 album “Violet.” It made me think of “Madonna” singing to a synthetic adaptation to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Since then I’ve come to enjoy the band and “Walking With Strangers” is no disappointment. It is fun with some elements of cheesy keyboards to gothic distortion guitars all the while the cutesy chick lead sings in a pop diva voice about awkward goth feelings. Bon apetit.
17. Brian “Head Welch
Album: “Save Me From Myself” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 1 “L.O.V.E”
Genre: “Nu-Metal”
Overview: Hey, unlike the gaytarded System of a Down solo effort, I think ex-Korn guitar player ‘Head’ had a few good ideas. The sound is not Korn yet on a lonely tear filled night you might just hear some of the old influences. Now is this some Bible Thumping good time with ‘turned to the Jesus’ Head? It talks a little about some faith-like topics in a very level headed manner but moves across varying themes making a lot of interesting statements. Screw the lyrics Mix… how’s the music? Well it is more metaly than Korn has been lately and it moves between a Nu-Metal & Alternative metal styling making it entertaining for all you kiddies.
16. All That Remains
Album: “Overcome” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 7 “A Song For The Hopeless”
Genre: ‘Metalcore / Melodic Death Metal”
Overview: Hey, you guys really went mainstream with this one but it does have a lot to like to it. In your last album I found a few songs that were enjoyable but the rest was ‘Not Alone’ amongst the stereotypical guttertrash as is common in the genre. That was punny. More or less you were trying to show me you guys had a double-kick petal and weren’t afraid to use it. A bit more refined, that double kick a little more classy and yeah you want more money with those catchy clean chorus,’ fine and dandy. The album was easy to put on a listen through.
15. Bullet for My Valentine
Album: “Scream Aim Fire” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #6 “Deliver Us From Evil”
Genre: “Metalcore / Chotch Rock”
Overview: You know what; you may not win in originality points. You have some really good guitar work. So there is chanting with the crowd using power words, sure there is a sappy love ballad metal’D-up and most definitely a whole lot of crotch thrusting in the general direction of EVERYBODY, I still likes even though we are pretty high up on the ‘Cheese Factor.’
14. Stuck Mojo
Album: “Southern Born Killers” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 10 “Home”
Genre: “Rap Metal”
Overview: So what if Rap Metal is not cool, these mamma-jammas pretty much are the forefathers of the Genre. They still do it and it still works. “Stuck Mojo” being a highly political themed band is known for their views on racism, religion and human rights (specifically I remember their letter to the Rev Jessie Jackson saying that we need to not concentrate on Black Rights as much as we need to think about Human Rights). So in this album, it’s simple… they fucking hate terrorists. With the new frontman Lord Nelson, you will find he still honours Bonz’s style while Rich “the Duke’ Ward still brings you truly awesome licks from his mighty axe not to mention great backing vocals and harmonies. The band itself being troubled I hope that you guys still keep it up, this album actually being several degrees less on the ‘Cheese Factor’ than previous releases, there are still some tracks that I have no clue what you were trying to accomplish.
13. Caliban
Album: “The Awakening” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 4 “My Time Has Come”
Genre: “Metalcore”
Overview: Another good release from the German Metalcore band. I will say that your 2006 album “The Undying Darkness” is my favourite to date but still I find I can get behind purchasing your albums. I do not believe there to be any significant changes with style or content in your newest album but for the time being I find your recipe for musical conjuration to be close to my heart.
12. Iced Earth
Album: “The Crucible of Man: Something Wicked Pt. 2” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 10 “Crucify the King”
Genre: “Fantasy / Operatic Power Metal”
Overview: Truth be told, this is an album I would normally just walk right by… any reason? No, but for some reason there is just an unexplained prejudice. However taking an online quiz comparing your personality to what “Metal Band” are you, I came up as Iced Earth. So that in mind I found they released a new album and voile, here I am trying to figure out why they’re me?!? So I took the journey they guided me through and I wasn’t left overly wanting. It is powerful, not unusual to the genre and musically tickling to my overall tastes. Better to listen to the album than to pick out individual songs.
11. Loreena McKennitt
Album: “A Midwinters Night’s Dream” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 5 “Good King Wenceslas”
Genre: “Folk Music / Celtic / New Age / Awesome”
Overview: Oh my sweet nightingale, how dear you are to me. Yes, very far from my metal roots this very fine lady in the only one who I take into my bedroom to have sing me into my dreams. I fell in love with her with the album “The Mask and the Mirror” and stay true to her forevermore. So this one seems a little Christmasy, which is usually a con but I still can not escape your power over me but as it is a brand new purchase I will still have to spend my time in Loreena’s web before my mind will paint the full picture. As a Canadian artist she travels in great depths into the soul of Celtic, Arabic, modern and other worldly influences to mix with literary works to back a large portion of her lyrics to create a sound that far surpasses any who would claim to be her competition… stupid Enya.
10. Symphony X
Album: “Paradise Lost” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 10 “Revelation (Divus Pennae Ex Tragoedia)
Genre: “Fantasy / Progressive Power Metal with Classical Roots)
Overview: This is just my favourite fantasy disk released in a long time. The songs are just so well orchestrated, the music weaving wonderfully in a masterful show of skill but still metal enough to slap you in the face like a sack of doorhandles. The use of added instruments mixed with powerful vocals and guitar is enough to charm the pants off of you and memorable enough to cuddle with you afterwards. It is dark and moving and separates itself from the generic slag associated with the genre. Might be good for fans of “Demons & Wizards.”
09. Protest the Hero
Album: “Fortress” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 8 “Wretch”
Genre: “Progressive Metalcore” (Some Label Mathcore)
Overview: This album is fast-paced with a lot of musical input using violent changes in tempo while the singer changes vocals between clean, classical and death (Strangely not annoying like most guys who are in this genre). I believe this album to surpass their previous work with each track being its own creature without the vicious similarity between songs yet having instrumental bridges between a majority of the tracks. I find that my favourite song keeps changing the more I play the album.
08. Disturbed
Album: “Indestructible” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 10 “Criminal”
Genre: “Nu-Metal”
Overview: Hey, this is radio play guys, you should know this shit. Well, it is “Disturbed” what can I say? There is still the “Swoahhh….Ha Ha…..Ha Ha…” like mess. Yet even though there is no breakthrough new sounds the songs are still tight, every song on the disk being readily listenable. So this one still goes around the bases and is great for those days when you need someone to remind you that people are ‘mother-fuckers.’ High Score ‘Likeability’ with this one.
07. Stolen Babies
Album: “There Be Squabbles Ahead” 2006
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 3 “Filistata” / soft: # 9 “Lifeless”
Genre: “Avant-Garde Metal / Dark Cabaret”
Overview: So Mix goes to see the local “Lacuna Coil” show, he sees on his ticket that a band called “Stolen Babies” will be on the bill, oh how he laughs stating “What kind of fucking band name is that?” The show starts and a goth clown girl comes out with her ‘squeeze-box’ in hand and at that moment he falls in love. Her dark melodious voice mixed with a small amount of female metal vocals to what he can only assume is evil circus music which assaults him in ways (and places) that will never be pure again. I loved this disk. I still sleep with it under my pillow at times blowing kisses to my sad sad clown girl, yet still silently afraid that her clown men will drag me away only to drown me in a dumpster of clown cum. Wow, I’m sure this is the first music critique ever to include the terminology ‘Asphyxiation by Clown Cum Dumpster.’ Awesome!
06. Soilwork
Album: “Sworn to a Great Divide” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 2 “Exile”
Genre: “Melodic Death Metal / Gothenburg”
Overview: Known for using synthesized sounds in many of the previous albums this album is highly melodic to previous efforts, using a lot more basic metal instrumental sounds. Overall they are now regarded close to their Gothenburg brother band “In Flames.” The songs are powerful with a lot of highs and lows amongst the flow of aggressive metal lyrics and riffing guitars breaking down the fucking doors to awesome.
05. Trivium
Album: “Shogun” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 2 “Torn Between Scylla and Charybdis”
Genre: “Metalcore”
Overview: Dudes! “Ascendancy” was awesome. Then came “The Crusade,” yeah what the fuck was that? It sounded like an awesome thrashy metalcore band wanted to suck “Metallica’s” dick for a bit. (Even though I remember coming across an online review saying it was possibly the best metal album that year..2006, ha ha fuck off). So do I give up? Well I had $20 bucks to gamble and here we are. I am not only impressed that you found some of your old sound; you managed to make it your own sound. You dropped the Metallica-inspired vocal stylings to use your own voices and brought back some scream to our lives. You don’t need death vocals to make it boys, but your clean wasn’t the cut of your jib in Crusade. This album just pounds it out, the chorus’ being haunting with a classy combination of clean and death vocals. The music behind the scenes is involved, characteristic and themed for the ideas surrounding the album, making a tight action packed piece of entertainment.
04. Dry Kill Logic
Album: “The Darker Side of Nonsense” 2001
Mix’s Spotlight Track: #3 “Pain”
Genre: “Metalcore”
Overview: This is the only album where I am really going back in time for this review. The whole love of “DKL” came around when I came across the song “Rot - # 8” from this album through some random downloading. I fell in love with their sound but in the music stores I was only able to find their newer album “The Dead & Dreaming” (2004) and have been following them ever since. However up until recently my success at finding this album was next to nil, but finally finding it I chose to support the band regardless of the fact I possessed all the downloaded versions of these songs. Overall this disk is a bit more crude, rough and tumble compared to recent releases but it has so much of the raw energy and sound that only these guys can throw at you. This is where the journey started for me to make “DKL” one of my favourite existing bands, nuff said.
03. Into Eternity
Album: “The Incurable Tragedy” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 5 “Diagnosis Terminal”
Genre: “Progressive / Melodic Death Metal”
Overview: First of all, points go out for these guys being ‘Home-Town Boys’ from Regina Saskatchewan. Hard to place in a genre as their music throws things at you hard and fast mixing several elements of metal and acoustic styles. The vocals range between ‘Power Metal’ clean harmonies with a mixture of high ‘Death Metal’ screams and low ‘Black Metal’ growls. The guitars are reminiscent of a more European style of ‘Fantasy / Progressive” metal while the drums are filled with complex blast beats and fills. These guys are an entity live and this being their newest released album follows a concept theme of a loved one to the band going through the hardships of terminal cancer. These guys are really in my winning queue.
02. Demon Hunter
Album: “Storm the Gates of Hell” 2007
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 4 “Fading Away”
Genre: “Christian – Metalcore”
Overview: Don’t let the Christian part confuse you, these guys still kick ass and take names. Having a very specific vocal styling having ‘Hard Rock’ clean vocals mixed with a very aggressive metal scream the band distances themselves far from most of their monotonous counterparts. The album has a lot of lighter and more melodic pieces in comparison to their previous efforts; they still find a niche that makes the album a very respectful compilation of aggression, sorrow and values. This one will hit the player enough to warrant re-purchase before getting lost in Mix’s spent’N’Lend pile.
01. In Flames
Album: “Sense of Purpose” 2008
Mix’s Spotlight Track: # 5 “I’m the Highway” / soft: # 8 “The Chosen Pessimist”
Genre: “Melodic Death Metal / Gothenburg”
Overview: Well Fuck Me!!!! We finally made it. Yeah, yeah, you had to know I am biased, so of course the number one spot would have to be “In Flames.” They had me through their entire discography, they have me now. But this wasn’t a light decision in the end. You have to understand I had to come off of their last album “Come Clarity,” (2006) which is pretty much my favourite album of all time. So in deep anticipation I put this one in, and alas, it is not “Come Clarity.” Rage ensues as I can’t accept having another section of my fragile world destroyed. Three play-throughs and Mix realizes, oh there you are sweetness. You might not be like my first born child, but you are your own child and I love you just as much. My sickness is exposed. So with melodious force, well executed timings and creative edge which has enslaved me into this following, I give you my top spot you Swedish Berry Bastards. No jokes as I say thank you for your music.
End Notes
I. I would like to call shenanigans on the following bands for taking there sweet fucking time on providing me with some new music:
- Nothingface
- Rammstein
- Dry Kill Logic
- Diecast
- Element Eighty
II. I would like to call double shenanigans for the following bands being selfish jerks and breaking up:
- Nodes of Ranvier
- Silent Civilian (The promising recreation of “Spineshank”)
- Apartment 26
III. I would like to give Kudos to the musicians of very dead bands trying to recreate some dead magic and bring it back to life:
- The Dreaming (The new incarnation of my poor missed friend “Stabbing Westward”)
- Black Market Hero (A new mixture from the bands “40 Below Summer” & “Flaw”)
- Polkadot Cadaver (Reinvented + Heavier version of “Dog Fashion Disco”)
Currently Reading: “Queen of the Damned” by Anne Rice
As always, thanks for the good times, bad times and wasted time,
-L’M’B |
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